Hello everyone,

It's a cyber move! Within a few days, or sooner, you can find me and my blog over at

www.blogs.fertilitycommunity.com which you can also get to by typing www.fertilityblogs.com

Please keep in touch and it has been great writing and reading with you,

All love,

Karianne

Massage Techniques
- Wrap your hands around your feet with thumbs on the soles and fingers on the top of your foot. Start by making circular motions with your thumbs and cover the entire area of the heel, soles, ball, and toes.

- Next, use your thumbs to make long, deep strokes on the soles of your feet, moving upward from the heel to the ball. If you feel some soreness in one area, spend extra time there to soften it up.

- Don’t forget your toes! Spend a good 30 seconds or more on each toe. One at a time, rub and massage your toe all the way from the base to the tip. Use small circular motions and then ... more

Being a massage therapist, I know the power of touch. For the majority of my clients their favorite section of the massage is the feet. There are a few though that really cannot stand to have their feet even lightly touched. If you are like those very few clients, you may not want to read this post as it will teach you how to enjoy your very own foot massage. The detailed way that this is written is better than what I learned in massage school. The only thing that I would add to these steps is to put on some relaxing music before you start and also to remember to breathe deep to help internalize the relaxation response.

From ... more

One of my younger brothers called me today to tell me that now every time he hears the Band Aid song, Do They Know It's Christmas, he thinks of little Bec. He said that having Bec has totally changed the way that he understood the song from when he was he was younger.

If you grew up in the 80s like we did, you have to know this song. I hadn't heard it on the radio yet this year, so I listened to it online. I did have different images for me as well, and I'm glad that he shared this little tidbit with me. Here are the lyrics, just in case you just got them out of minds!

Lyrics With Performers
(Paul Young)
It's Christmas time
There's no ... more

Coley's most recent post inspired this post from me. She writes about how a Christmas letter has changed and does change with growing up. It reminded me of this Christmas song that I listen to every Christmas on my Merry Christmas To You CD by Reba McEntire.

Artist/Band: Reba McEntire
Lyrics for Song: A Christmas Letter
Lyrics for Album: Merry Christmas To You

At an antique desk
An old man sits alone
It's Christmas Eve
And it's almost time to go

He signs his name to a letter he just wrote
Then he reads it back with a voice as soft as snow

I want peace on earth for Christmas
In a world where there's ... more

Tomorrow I am foreseeing a sticky and uncomfortable evening with an in-law. This is nothing new and is actually the norm for the past 5 years. With some new developments within the last month though, I'm not really sure how things are going to play out.

I've decided to try out some of the coping strategies that I've been posting lately. Here is what I've been doing or what I will do:

Limit your participation in family celebrations. In years past, this coming up function would have required Herculean stamina as a short 2-3 hour visit would have been "rude" so we would stay at least 5 hours, including driving time would make it 6. Now, we will head out around ... more

"Clomid For Christmas" Holiday Medical Treatments by Teri Brown.

I found this article on line yesterday. Not only is it timely, but the coping suggestions are perfect.

Limit your participation in family celebrations. If your family's holiday traditions include children opening presents, you may want to come at the end of the gift opening, or skip it altogether. If you are feeling particularly depleted or vulnerable, there is nothing wrong with giving yourself permission to protect and take care of yourself. It is OK to say, "No, we really can't make it this year." If you want to limit the ... more

4. Define 'On Time'

"Being on time is really respecting other people's time," Post says. "Communicate about what 'on time' means to you. It means different things to different people."

Post also advises to call if you're running late and check with the host first if you plan to arrive early. If you are the host, let family members know what time you would like them to arrive, rather than what time you plan to start the meal. Don't assume people will come early to help unless you ask them directly.

5. Avoid Re-Gifting

"You don't have to break the bank for a really nice gift," Post says. "The key is to find something the person will really like. ... more

As we're heading into the holiday weekend, here are some more ways to avoid some of the possible stress. The following hints are from www.webmd.com

1. Be Realistic

Post tells WebMD the first step toward enjoying the festivities is to set aside idealized images of how things should go. "Be realistic," she says. "Don't think anything is going to be perfect."

2. Anticipate Conflicts

"Plan ahead and try to be as calm as possible with other people," Post says. If you can anticipate the types of conflicts that are likely to come up, you can plan a response in advance. This can help avoid the knee-jerk reactions ... more

Chris and I were just remembering that this time last year was the time that we got our news about Becken. The above photo is the one that came with our referral, our very first photo of our beloved son.

I had been nervous and removed and quiet as soon as I knew that they were sending out the information to us. I had spoken to our worker at our agency on the phone when she called to tell us about him. I was in shock I think because we hadn't expected a call until February and here it was only December! I went to Chris' work to tell him about ... more

Well, my aunt was at it once again. I came into the office this morning and found another sweet little handmade gift tucked into my computer keyboard. If any of you need a last minute stocking stuffer idea, or just want to hand out a small gift that won't cost a lot of money, this project could be just what you are looking for.

To describe it, I'll do my best and I'm sure that you will get the basics of it. My scanner really wouldn't do it justice since the font and the papers are so small. She took a piece of thick white paper and cut it decoratively to about 3x4 inch dimensions. On top of this she glued a regular piece of blue copy paper so that only the white showed as ... more

I can't think of too many things more stressful on couples than dealing with infertility. Add in the holidays and it can become unbearable. From www.about.com I found some helpful hints for couples to use during the holidays in coping with the extra pressure, regardless of fertility issues or not.

What The Two of You Can Do
Eat healthy meals and drink plenty of water.

Watch how much caffeine you consume and try to cut back on it.

Make sure you discuss money and how much you both are comfortable spending on gifts.

Set a holiday budget together and stick to it.

Talk over your expectations of the ... more

As you can tell by the photo, I found an appropriate Christmas style outfit for Bec! Ivy already had her little outfit that was purchased for her by my mom last Christmas but didn't fit. It is a little sweatsuit by Ecko with the white fake fur around the hood and sparkley rhinestones in a star pattern on the jacket and pants. It is odd because Ivy is 3 but can fit into a variety of sizes. For instance, this outfit is 18 months!

We took the kids to our local mall to have their Santa pic taken before it got too late in the season. I was ... more

Here is a very interesting post that I found from Lisa over at www.adoptionshare.com

The way that the table copied onto this site, the numbers for 2006 are listed first, with the numbers for 2005 underneath.

The following data lists the number of children adopted by parents in the United States from countries outside the U.S. in 2006 and 2005. They are listed in order of highest to lowest. These numbers were recently published by the U.S. Department of State and the stats for years prior can be found on their site as well.

Fiscal Year 2006
Fiscal Year 2005

1
6,493 ... more

Well, have I got the blog for you!

Christmas For All

And talk about the "For All". The posts on this site run from instructions on how to decorate with lights on the outside of your house, all the way through to the Brad and Angelina wedding planned in South Africa this Christmas. The posts are pretty put up pretty regularly and are very lengthy and fun.

The blog started back in August with a post on "Christmas Party Ideas". The blog is written by Sean Carter who
also has blogs titled, "Thanksgiving", "Valentine's Day" and "Halloween For All". There are lots of links for almost every Christmas need and ... more

Yet again while I was reading this book, I found another story that I need to pass along. These quotes are all from the same segment, yet I've skipped some of the entries.

And this is how I ended up participating in the blessing of a baby who had reached the age of six months, and who was now ready to touch the earth for the first time. The Balinese don't let their children touch the ground for the first six months of life, because newborn babies are considered to be gods sent straight from heaven, and you wouldn't let a god crawl around on the floor with all the toenail clippings and cigarette butts. So Balinese babies are carried for those first six months, ... more

I am in the process of reading the book eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I just finished reading the following passage that I thought was too beautiful to not pass along.

Ketut went on to explain that the Balinese believe we are each accompanied at birth by four invisible brothers, who come into the world with us and protect us throughout our lives. When the child is in the womb, her four siblings are even there with her - they are represented by the placenta, the amniotic fluid, the umbilical cord and the yellow waxy substance that protects an unborn baby's skin. When the baby is born, the parents collect as much of these exraneous birthing materials ... more

One of my favorite traditions of this holiday season, or any season for that matter is the receiving, through snail mail, holiday cards. Is there anything better than finding a card or letter admist the bills and promotions? Not too many that I can think of anyway.

I even enjoy the Christmas letters that a lot of people have issues with. The sappy ones I have a laugh at and the honest ones I adore. And I especially enjoy any card with a family or child photo. Those are priceless. I have a client and a friend who still sends out her holiday card with her 3 kids on the front. And two of them are in college. I couldn't even imagine the planning that goes into that one. ... more

Let me first clarify that I'm in a cruddy mood tonight. I'm about to head into a rant about now, so if you don't want to hear it, I'd stop reading now.

This is my baby's first Christmas. Maybe not his first Christmas on Earth, but his first Christmas celebrating with our family. Do you think that I could find any article of clothing to celebrate that fact? After driving around today to 4 different stores on the opposite ends of town? Nope.

There are adorable onesies, Santa suits and bibs declaring all about Baby's First Christmas. But none over size 9 months. Now my baby is only about 14 months old, but he wears 18 month old sized clothes. Even the bibs are too ... more

I had read about a Japanese company that had designed a cell phone to help women with their fertility cycles. It was only in a small news byte, but I wanted to learn more. Even after checking the company's website, I didn't have enough info to post it here. After checking different gadget related and tech blogs, here are some facts that I patched together.

However, a new Japanese service is taking text messaging where perhaps no one has taken the technology before: family planning. Offered by the ... more

This morning I came into my office and on my desk was a very sweet ornament made for me by my aunt. My sister and mom also had one each. I will try to accurately describe what it looks like.

It is a clear ornament with a small amount of gold tinsel tucked inside. I would say approximately 10 strands, just enough to get it sparkly. Also tucked inside is a very small white feather. Attached to the hook part of the ornament is a handmade tag of red construction paper. On the tag is another white cut out with decorative scissors. On the tag is then ... more

In 2002 December 4th was going to be my due date with our first baby. I miscarried about 10 weeks along so we never made it to that special delivery day. Yet, every year, I think about our baby and remember the joy of being pregnant. I also remember the extreme sorrow when we lost him. (I write "him" although I have no proof besides how I felt when I was carrying him. I thought for sure that our baby was a boy.)

The first year of loss I had a princess day with one of my best girlfriends. We both took the day off from work, got manicures and pedicures and went to lunch. It wasn't sad, we stayed busy to not think about it too much. I remember getting in the car that day ... more

I suppose Ethiopia feels confident in their choice to allow us to parent Becken. We just had our 6 month post placement visit with our beloved social worker, Marilyn. You could tell that I had been involved in these visits for over a year now, because I didn't even clean my house as I had before. I straightened up as much as I could before she got here, out of courtesy for company, but not out of any fear of being a bad adoptive parent.

She has always arrived at our house right on time. Even this time with icy roads and unpredictable weather. And then, she plays with Ivy. Then we sit and talk over mineral water or tea. And boy do we talk. About everything! She asks ... more

In honor of World AIDS Day today, I wore my "WE ALL HAVE AIDS" t-shirt to work and around town as I ran errands. And there were quite a few errands to run as today is also my husband's birthday. Aside from both offices, I went to Target, Mail Boxes Etc, Dairy Queen, the grocery store, teriyaki restaurant and two banks.

I was hoping that someone would ask me about my shirt. I wore it over a long sleeve black shirt, and under my denim jacket that was open so that the shirt could be read. The most that I got were some sidelong glances, except for one woman who ... more

While flipping through the Creative Irish Gifts Christmas 2006 catalog, I happened upon the above plaque. Here is the catalog description:

Never, Never, Never Give Up !

Lift the heart of someone special. This inspiring wooden plaque is hand-stenciled and signed by the artist. USA. 3 x 26 1/2 x 1".

www.shopirish.com

The price is $ 29.99 + shipping and handling.

While I was trying to get pregnant, and also before we had decided to formally go through ... more

In light of my last post, I think that I will write about this activity that I have been saving for an appropriate time. Today is the day.

My friend Wendy from www.writespirit.com forwarded me this sweet project last week. It would have been great for Thanksgiving as well, but I was a little behind on getting it out.

Remember those garlands that you made, or your kids made, in grade school? They were usually strips of red and green construction paper, linked together and then stapled to make an advent for Christmas. My nephews have brought home others that were representative of math concepts, but I don't remember exactly ... more

A couple of days ago two people reported to San Diego police an ad on Craigslist offering up a free baby. The ad said,

The copy given to police says: “Free baby boy to good home. My ex-girlfriend had him a few weeks ago, but now he just sits in my closet and cries. I'm not too sure how to deal with it, and I'm in a pretty low financial spot. I lost all the baby accessories. Batteries not included. Transaction final. No returns. Guaranteed not DOA.”

If you don't know what Craigslist is, here is the description from ... more

My blog friend Gabrielle has been invited to write an article for the following blog
Topics from 192 Countries.

Here is the premise behind the blog:

Topics from 192 countries

I wonder if people from 192 countries across the Globe cooperate to write one blog.
Different people, culture, society, politics, products, service...
Only one person for One Country !
One Photo for One Story

Gabrielle wrote an article along with a recipe for "satay" to represent Indonesia.

For those who have never tried ... more

Throughout this past year I have been coming across products here and there that would make thoughtful gifts for a woman that is experiencing infertility and loss.

In honor of the Christmas spirit, I thought that I would begin to run these here and there just in case a gift idea was needed.

My first website is called Wear A Prayer. They offer beaded prayer bracelets that represent prayers for women and for girls. The bracelets do run a little much for a casual gift, but would make for a special item for someone who was close to your heart. Here are a listing of their women's ... more

To put a spin on today's message, I thought that I would do a post about a mix of thirteen things that I'm thankful and not thankful for today:

1. Not Thankful - Spending the holiday meal apart from Chris and the kids as this is the only way that we can make the majority of people happy. Sometimes living in the same town as everyone else can have it's disadvantages.
2. Not Thankful - Stores that continue to be open, although there really isn't that much of a need for consumerism today. I am old enough to remember when a ... more

If grief is a part of your holiday this year, how about doing something different? Something all the way different from Thanksgivings before.

This year for Thanksgiving, no one really felt like cooking. Or having people over. Or doing anything that remotely reminds us of having Thanksgiving with dad. I'm even ready to forgo the turkey! (Alright, that really isn't too much of a sacrifice for me) With all of this said and done, we did want to get together as a family so instead of making dinner, we made reservations!

My sister had seen an advertisement from a local restaurant, offering a Thanksgiving meal in addition to their regular menu. She called me and asked, ... more

I was trying to come up with some sort of fertility to turkey to Thanksgiving connection to post tonight and couldn't really make the jump into a true link. But I did learn some interesting facts about turkeys and the symbolism that they hold in certain cultures.

From sherrifox:

Turkey - food source, resourcefulness. Its feathers have many spiritual & ritual uses. The spirit of turkey is free, and opens up the channels between us and others on a meaningful level. The turkey sacrifices itself so that others may live, showing us courage and faith in our present life and the next

From ... more

Another way that I have dealt with the anxiety of Thanksgiving day, is to pretend that it is a Thursday. Just a Thursday. Only. No hype, no hoopla, no stress. Just a regular Thursday off of work.

And it worked for some of the time. Especially in the early days of the week leading up to the holiday. I lived my life as I always have done. I would work a regular amount or more at the spa. I tried to avoid the population increases at the stores and would stay away from the "traditional" pre Thanksgiving cooking frenzy. It was pretty easy for the most part.

Now on the actual day of Thanksgivings past, I would tell myself that my family was getting together for ... more

I read a snippet from an article that stated that the writer was dreading the sitting at the Thanksgiving table and fielding questions from relatives. Can't we all relate? It seems that in one instant, you are living your adult life, and then, with a probing question, you are back in middle school. Expected to tell a relative who may be just one step up from a stranger, the way that your life is heading. And then to add in infertility, it just gets weirder. And worse.

During these times, the way that I would cope for the most part was avoidance. It ... more

I found this wonderful advice from www.babymoon.com

1) Gather friends around. Go for a long walk with one, see a movie with another, have breakfast with a third. At a time like this, you have every right to call in the troops!

2) Different people need different mixes of distracting themselves and talking about it. Find people you can pour your heart out to, if that suits your style, but feel free to say "OK, let's do something else now".

3) Finding good distractions in this ... more

I had an mri today. My first one ever. And hopefully, it will come back to show that my brain is beautiful and perfect.

The back story:
I've had vertigo for over a year now and no one can figure out why. Although I've improved to the point to living my life with some limitations and frustrations, it has gotten much better than the bedridden for days, vomiting me that I was last year. Allergy testing, sinus surgery have all had their go at curing me, but to no lasting improvement. The mri was the next diagnostic step.

Yesterday, I ... more

Last evening, I was very emotionally angry at my team of choice for losing a rival game. Most of the family was hiding out, trying to stay away from me until I calmed down. Every year I tell Chris that this rival game is one that I should watch alone, but he never listens and then I feel bad because I banish myself to the small television in the bedroom so the kids don't hear my mouth. Most of the time though I don't catch myself in time, realize what filth is coming out of my mouth and then get away from the family too late.

Still stewing after the final score, I was standing in the kitchen drinking apple juice out of the bottle and there was a knock on the door. I thought ... more

Over on Adrienne's blog, she reviews a book called The Family Book by Todd Parr. Although I haven't read it, it caught my eye, because it looks a lot like one of our family favorite books here at home, called, It's Okay to Be Different also by Todd Parr.

This book is one of my favorites because Chris picked it up and bought it for the kids before there even were kid(s). He was at Costco one day and saw it and brought it home. It sounds like our family philosophy but when I saw one of the pages that reads "It's okay to be adopted" my heart soared. Typically male, yes, I know this is sexist of me to say, Chris ... more

Adoption Day Brings New Families Together

By JESSICA WAMBACH

State adoption worker Cheri Holden gets a hug from Teresa Garza, center, as her brother, Dominic Garza, looks on at the Yakima County Courthouse on Friday. Dominic, whose sister was adopted earlier this year, now officially joins her as a member of the Garza family.

It's been almost five years since domestic violence tore apart Dominic Garza's birth family.

On Friday, standing before Yakima County Superior Court Commissioner Lani-Kai Swanhart and fidgeting with his tie, the 15-year-old officially became part of another one.

"You will be responsible to raise, train and ... more

Continuing on my copycatting of other blogs, here is a type of post that I picked up from www.antiracistparent.com
The Gratuitous Cute Kid Pic!

This is Becken on Halloween, displaying only one of a few smiles wearing his frog costume. He couldn't stand the thing. It was actually our back up costume, as our first pick didn't fit and we had to save it for next year. I was then on the mission to find something for him to wear.

The plan on the frog outfit was that he would be the ... more

I have been noticing that a lot of my fellow bloggers have been doing "Love Thursday" posts. I really enjoy reading them, but didn't actually feel compelled to write them. On my blogger account, they are doing a thing called "Thursday Thirteen" that is really fun. I decided to join, last week and have been anxiously awaiting today to do my first post. Now and again, I will also be posting my lists here. Here is my initial, welcome to Thursday Thirteen post:

1…. I am 5 feet tall, and ... more

Pasco
Benton/Franklin Counties Adoption Celebration
Franklin County Courthouse 1016 N 4th Ave.
November 17
3:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Contact:
Dennis Yule - Benton/Franklin Counties Superior Court (Washingto
509 736-3070
dennis.yule@co.benton.wa.us
Event Details:
This event, featuring Miss Tri-Cities Charlotte Smith, will recognize and celebrate all those involved in adoption and will include adoption finalization hearings, adoption information tables, refreshments, special children's activities and gifts. Additional details to follow. ... more

In a little email sent from our editor, I was reminded that National Adoption Day is coming up this weekend. To educate myself, I wanted to find out a little bit more about the history of this day.From Bella Online

This day originated in 2000 to celebrate adoption, provide positive adoption education, and find homes for waiting children. Many of this year's events are designed specifically for families finalizing in November. Many are public events. Others are private. While most events will take place on November 18, others will take place at other times throughout the month. This article will address ... more

As luck would have it, my best friend was a stroller designer during my pregnancy and while Ivy was a tiny baby. We have so many strollers that it is crazy. I believe that we had 3 types of "jogging" strollers, 2 umbrella strollers, a general folding stroller and my absolute favorite stroller, our InSTEP stroller/backpack.

While researching for this post, this link had the best price.

The pluses for me for this stroller is that it is so tiny and lightweight that I bring it ... more

One of my best girlfriends bought me a subscription to Child magazine for Christmas. My subscription started last month and even before I was through with the first issue, I was so excited about the magazine. Mostly because of the beautiful photography, but also because of the ideas that I got for this blog.

In the first issue, this advertisement caught my eye. It is from ConfirmClearly and it is a refillable pregnancy test. From their website:

The only test with money-saving refills!
Be sure to save your reader for ... more

This may be a little bit out there for some of you, but I wanted to give the rest of you the link for angel cards.

I was first introduced to Angel Cards during massage school. I know, it is pretty woo woo, but I went to school with a lot of woo woo people. I was actually on the normal end of the spectrum if you can believe that! And I also don't want to turn anyone off of massage either, we really did balance the woo woo with the medical. It was a full range education.

Anyhow, whenever we would first come in to class, we were asked to draw an Angel Card to help see what our direction as an individual would be that evening. After we drew our card, we could share it ... more

Yesterday, I listed some of the benefits of journal keeping. Today I will be listing some ways to start keeping your journal and also some helpful hints about approaching your journal time.

I have a lot of different journals going at one time. I have a desk top journal that helps as a calendar, list maker and general place for all of my scattered thoughts while I am working. There are quotes that I love, angel cards that I have drawn for a certain day, and random order numbers and tracking numbers from the internet. This has also served as my dream journal, as it is the most accessible of my journals and ready to be written in in the early morning hours.

I also keep ... more

I took a journaling workshop at our local cancer care center while my dad was sick and getting chemo. Last night I came across one of the handouts from the instructor, who is also a close friend. It has some great info in it and I thought that I would share it with you all. Journaling through the stress of his illness, and the grief of his death has been helpful to keep my head on straight. Any type of infertility stress can also benifit from journaling.

Journaling
In earlier generations it was common to keep a diary or a personal journal. However, today few people do it and very few recognize the value and astonishing power of keeping a ... more