Last week I had posted some information about different types of massage and their relationships with fertility and my exposure to each type. Yesterday, I went in for a massage treatment myself and for the first time experienced lymphatic drainage massage. It was absolute heaven.

Here is what ZitaWest.com has to say about describing lymphatic drainage massage.

By its name, it may sound like Manual Lymphatic Drainage (MLD) means you are about to have the whole of your lymphatic system drained away, but it is actually a very gentle form of massage aimed at moving the lymph under the skin. ... more

We all know how wonderful a supportive friend can be during your dealings with infertility. They are priceless and they can come in many forms, whether a spouse, a sibling or other relative or, a friend. But, there are also relationships that look like friendship, but aren't supportive or healing. These relationships are defined as toxic and can be especially harmful to women who are so vulnerable already by infertility.

According to this article Difficult Friends: Toxic Friendships - People You Must Avoid by Emmy over on blogspot, toxic relationships are described as ... more

There are a couple of sites that I have been frequenting lately that have to do with making a wish.

I have linked before to the absolutely incredible blog from The Town Criers called, "Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters". Along the sidebar she has a link that says, "Make a Wish" that shows a photo of her wishing stone. Here is the story:

Titled, "Have a Wish on Me"

Josh bought me a wishing stone this weekend at a store called Mud and Metal. I verified its powers as a wishing stone by checking with my palm pilot's Magic 8 ball prior to the purchase. I am happy to report that according to the ... more

The series finale of The King of Queens aired last week. I saved the time and date and made plans to watch the show with my husband which is no easy task with our schedules. While watching the show, I started dreading where it was going. By the end of the show I was disappointed. And upset at what I saw. And with a goal to write about it here. Adoption myths and international adoption myths are alive and well in even the media of mainstream America.

First of all, here are the things that I remember that I was irritated at. Carrie gets a text message of her baby's picture and then flies to Beijing to pick up her daughter, mere weeks after deciding to adopt. She decides ... more

Painting Chef: Like a Little Ray of Sarcastic Sunshine

I contacted PaintingChef last night to see if I could reprint her latest infertility post here as I felt that it did such a great job at conveying a reaction to a friend's pregnancy and a new baby born. And isn't this one of the cutest replies as well?

Sure! And thanks so much, I'm really flattered!! Lucky for you its one of the VERY few infertility-related ones where I'm not whining and moaning... but if you are interested in those, I promise you, there are PLENTY!

Haha!!

I'll check out your ... more

I have taken extra certification classes in reflexology and it is so interesting. Also, it can be pretty painful as well, when the practitioner discovers an area that needs to be worked on. But, it is effective in promoting many types of improvements, and, some say, can help with fertility. There are certain areas on the feet that correspond to the ovaries, which when manipulated can help with ovarian function. Overall, reflexology can provide whole body stimulation and provide a rejuvenating feeling or a feeling of relaxation, depending on the work being done. The recipient is normally seated in a comfortable chair or lays upon a table to receive treatments.

It is ... more

Developed in the early 19th century by Swedish physiologist Henri Peter Ling, Swedish massage can be very gentle, or somewhat intense, depending on the masseuse's style and the client's tolerance. In a Swedish massage, the masseuse might rub oil onto your body with long, gliding strokes, a kneading motion, vibration, or tapping in order to urge muscles to purge lactic acid, improve circulation, and foster a general sense of relaxation.

Now here is my type of massage. Literally. This is the type of massage that I am licensed in. Although in the above quote, I do take offense to being called a "masseuse" as the politically correct terms are either ... more

Here is the definition of shiatsu massage. I did learn a few manuevers from shiatsu while attending massage school, but only the very basics. I employ only one shiatsu move in my daily massage routine at the spa, but it is very effective to release some of the tension within the muscles along the spine. Within my community, we don't have anyone that specializes in shiatsu, but I believe that in larger cities it is more readily available to massage consumers.

Spiritual Massage Techniques

Shiatsu is a Japanese acupressure massage technique, wherein the practitioner ... more

Being a massage therapist, I was trained in a few different types of massage styles before I graduated, but mostly, the emphasis was on Swedish massage. Little did I know, there are so many types of massage that can be enjoyed and be helpful to both body and spirit. The below link provides a comprehensive guide to different types and I will then write a small amount about my views on the subject.

Spiritual Massage Techniques

Reiki, a Japanese form of touch therapy, is a gentle massage style that channels healing energy through the laying on of hands, usually beginning ... more

Yesterday I read the June 2007 issue of Body And Soul Magazine. On the last page, they had a list written by Terri Trespicio about "Ten Thoughts on Whole Living". (By looking up this link, I just found out that this magazine, that I love is published by Martha Stewart's company. You learn something new everyday! )

A lot of the list were things that I have heard of before, such as, the first item, "Your home is more than the sum of it's walls. Make is a sacred space". And the last item, "Find ... more

I know that this is much later than I had planned on posting this, but I was having troubles fininshing it. I would get too nostalgic and start to cry. Today must be the day!

At the airport I remember feeling kind of sick with apprehension. My chest was tight and I had this pasted on brave smile. What if he wasnt' on the plane? What if he was screaming hysterically? What if he hated me? I was a bunch of nerves.

His plane was the second plane to arrive that night. We didn't know that the first plane was going to be there, so, when he didn't get off of the flight, I was frozen in stone. I didn't want to throw a fit, I wanted to pretend that I wasn't ... more

I mentioned in a previous post, the enjoyment and comfort that I got out of Prayers for the Mother To Be by Angela Thomas while pregnant with Ivy. Along with the miscarriage fears, there was a prayer to help with anxiety, which I have even in the best situations. Pregnancy just amplified it all and then some. It also calls upon my favorite bible passage, Cast all your anxiety on him, for he cares for you.1 Peter 5:7

OH FATHER,

How does a strong and confident woman unexpectedly become so fragile and broken? I feel as if I have shattered into a thousand pieces. My emotions have taken over and my mind can't regain control. The tears ... more

I can't seem to get enough of the FertilityPlus site. In fact, it is one of the only sites that lists a page for infertility humor.

FertilityPlus

First of all, here is their disclaimer:

These jokes may not be funny to some and they are not politically correct.
If you're not in the mood please don't read . . . No offense is intended

But the following was pretty tame, so I thought that you might like to read it. Although it is out of season, it is pretty cute.

The 12 Days of Christmas (for the infertile)

On the first ... more

I remember dates pretty well. Not necessarily years, but that month and day stick in my mind. Although I do remember the year that I graduated high school and the year I met Chris. I'm good at birthdays, except for my best friend Joe's which I can never remember if it is on the 10th or the 12th. But he forgives me on my off years. Thank goodness he really isn't a birthday kind of guy.

Yesterday was my friend Jayme's birthday. I have known her birthday since I could remember dates. And it is a happy day to know that she was born into this world. And it will still be happy after yesterday, but I'll start to remember the date as bitter sweet.

I've admitted to you ... more

Announcing.....
Hey Everybody,

I am so excited to share with you guys that I've adopted a little boy ..he was born 2 weeks ago.

His name is Wyatt (after my dad) Steven (after my little brother and Scooter) and we are enjoying some very private family time.

Just wanted you to be the first to know.

Lots of love,

Sheryl.

The above post came from sherylcrow.com. And what a neat post it is! How exciting is that? Happy news. I can't wait until she is ... more

Prayer for a safe Pregnancy by Vienna Cobb Anderson from Prayers of Our Hearts. Along with this poem at the above link there are other prayers regarding pregnancy.

Prayer for a Safe Pregnancy

This life you have given us
is so tiny, fragile, and vulnerable,
safe in the womb of flesh and hope,
yet subject to danger and death.
O God of love, creator of life,
hear our prayer.
We want this baby so much.
Please grant this child of ours
a full term of nurture,
the joy and mystery of life, ... more

Another tip that I posted last week was to send an email to Heaven. Here is another way that you can honor your baby online.

Letters to Heaven
Did you ever feel the need to express your grief and sadness over losing your baby? Did the anniversary of your baby's death come and go and you wanted to do something to remember him or her by? Maybe you just want to let your baby know that you miss him or her. Our 'Letter to Heaven' section is the place to write down your thoughts, express your grief, or just a place to say 'Hello sweetheart, I miss you.' Each letter will remain on file, amongst hundreds of other letters from grieving parents. Each is as unique as the ... more

Supercluster Galaxy

Click on the link above to see a night sky filled with stars named after babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDs, and other infant loss. The page is created by Empty Cradles.

Last week I wrote about ways to cope on Mother's Day with loss. One of the tips was to create an online memorial. So today, I thought that I would look up some memorial sites that offer a chance to remember our babies, because some don't have the option ... more

Coping With Loss on Mother's Day

Plant a tree in her honor

Ask God to Help You Through

Spend the Day With Family

Now I think that the family idea is great, but only if they are sensitive to your feelings. I believe that many times, even the nicest people can make you feel worse by saying ignorant things or saying nothing at all. Be sure to do an emotional check before following this advice.

Reach Out and Volunteer

A friend of mine volunteered on the holidays after she divorced at a soup kitchen serving food. It kept her ... more

Coping With Loss on Mother's Day submitted by Beliefnet Readers.

It's no secret that Mother's Day can be the worst for want to be mommies. Although a lot of the hints from the above article were meant for other losses besides infertility, I believe that some can help out in a lot of different situations. The link above will take you to the complete list. Here are some that I felt were appropriate for this blog:

Create an Online Memorial

Jane Cassidy, Cerrillos, N.M.: "Grief ... more

Along with the FAQs about IUI in the previous post, there was a section that listed 4 personal stories from women explaining their IUI experiences. These ranged all the way from a woman who has had 8 IUIs to a woman who had just had her first one that day. I thought that this one had the most information. They are all anonymous, so the writing credit goes to FertilityPlus.

The process for IUI at my doctor's office was to call and schedule the procedure once LH surge was detected, or, if monitoring and doing hCG trigger, schedule the procedure based on the time of trigger. I did both methods and got pregnant from Clomid and IUI 24 hours after LH surge. I also did ... more

I haven't personally known of anyone who has used IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) but I do have some online friends who have used it. I was unsure about the whole procedure, so I thought that I would take a look around and see what I could find to help explain it to me. I found the following page that was very helpful in answering all of my questions along with questions that I wouldn't have even thought of. The last time it was revised was in March of 2002, but I think that it covers most of the bases.

IUI FAQ from FertilityPlus, Information for Patients, Written by Patients.

Here is their description ... more

.

Well, actually, I guess that Chris and I aren't too spiritual in terms of being a couple. We used to attend church together, but that was way before the kids. I think that I knew that when we put off marriage for so long, legally anyway. The legal part of marriage holds no spirituality for me. We had a commitment ceremony early on, with our pastor and our families, but being legally married was not high on our list of priorities. I'm hoping that when our lives calm down in terms of the little ones, and hopefully not soon, we can possibly work on some of these areas. But that ... more

Yesterday was the one year anniversary from when we picked up Bec from the airport to be our son. He was actually our son from the moment he was born, I believe, but this was the first chance that we had to meet him in person, hold him, kiss him, love him and introduce ourselves as mommy and daddy.

The week leading up to getting him was very calm. The same thing happened to me when I was close to delivering Ivy. No frantic nesting or worry, just living my life like there was not a huge change coming up. The night before we left to get him, I painted mine and Chris' toenails black. I painted Ivy's blue. For some reason, in my mind, this was significant. I also semi dyed ... more

During my pregnancy with Ivy, my fear of miscarriage was huge. I went to our local bookstore and found the book, Prayers for the Mother To Be by Angela Thomas. I had nothing to read during this time because I was terrified of the "What to Expect" book that I had relied on heavily while trying to get pregnant. I wanted to really stay away from any thing negative in all forms of media. This book seemed to fit the bill. While at a coffeeshop one day, a woman came up to me and told me that she had loved the book while she was pregnant as well

I took this book with me everywhere while I was still pregnant. The prayer that I read over and over is titled, ... more

This is a post from my friend Carrie. I was so touched by her words and asked if I could share it with you. She graciously said yes.

Today I mourn the loss of the life inside of me. The life that I only knew of for under 2 months. The life I'd learned to love more than my very self. Today I realize the finality of it all -- I will never even feel the little one inside of me kick, let alone look into her eyes, kiss her tiny toes or see her first smile. I will never wipe away her tears, never give her advice, or ever even have her upset at me. I won't get to hear her cry while she cuts teeth, or change the endless diapers. I will never even have the chance to make a ... more

I have mentioned here before that I love nonfiction writing. True, personal stories stick with me and intrigue me more than any type of scientific article or journal. Maybe that is why I am so addicted to blog reading and blogging. While going through the "No Baby On Board" site, I found the link to this list. There are many other fertility related reading lists as well, but this one is totally about first hand infertility.

Once again, for some reason, I'm having a problem linking today. So, to see the actual list that I'm talking about, head over to Amazon and do a search within their listmania. Type in infertility. Then a list of ... more

Movies Regarding Infertility from No Baby On Board

When I was going through our infertility, I stayed away from anything in the media that even suggested talking about the situation that I was in. I remember the weekend that we were waiting to find out results, I deliberately picked out the movie Snow Dogs to spend my time in front of. And to this day, I cringe inside when I see the cover of it, or when someone mentions it. I associate it with loss.

But for others, watching about the struggles of others can be helpful and healing. They feel that they aren't alone and like to see how other characters have dealt ... more

Today is my very first blogging anniversary. I think. Now that sounds funny doesn't it? All day, I've been thinking that today was my anniversary writing here, but now that I've sat down to actually write it, I'm not all the way sure. I suppose that I could go back and check...

So, if I am correct, it has been 12 months since I started this gig. And I am finally getting into a writing groove that works for me, without trying to drive myself crazy at the last minute. Everyday I enjoy myself more and learn so much. Besides acquiring new information on a daily basis and sharing it on a large scale, I am now able to describe myself as a writer which has always been a dream ... more

When it comes to infertility and loss, how do you know when to seek outside help for your emotions? The uncertain nature of infertility can cause extreme anxiety and depression even in the most stable of personalities. Add to that any other type of outside stress or biological factors and the infertility can be overwhelming. It is helpful to have a guideline to help decide.

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