When we were going through our fertility treatments, the doctor gave me a list of fertility options. I was fascinated with one of the options for couples in which the husband has a low sperm count. The doctor said he could supplement the husband's sperm with donor sperm and use both in the intrauterine insemination (IUI) process. The couple could select a donor who closely resembled the husband, and nobody would ever know which sperm actually fertilized the egg.

I had never heard of doing ... more

When you are struggling with your fertility, it is easy to fall into the misperception that you are "just an infertile woman." Because so much of your life winds up revolving around trying to conceive a child, particularly if you are going through fertility treatments, it is easy to lose sight of the other aspects of your life.

You are a wife, a daughter, an employee, and a friend. You are a neighbor, a church member, a pet owner, and (hopefully) a law-abiding citizen. None of these aspects of your life ceased to exist the day you were ... more

Is it possible to have positive thoughts while you are going through fertility treatments? I am the first to admit that I was not very good at it. I seriously doubt that I even tried. I truly believed that I needed a baby to be happy and that my life was going to be miserable until I held my baby in my arms.

I have been through other equally as challenging life circumstances since my infertility years, and I have learned that the thoughts we generate have a lot to do with how good or bad we feel in our current circumstances. Even when we are ... more

When you are in the midst of battling your fertility, it is easy to buy into the lie that every single moment of your life is terrible. As I was living through it, I believed that my entire 4-1/2 year journey to parenthood was one big dark cloud of pain. However, in retrospect, I realize that I have happy memories from events that happened during the time that I was going through fertility treatments.

There was my friend's wedding, where I was a bridesmaid and had to wear a knee brace that prevented me from bending my leg. Meanwhile, another bridesmaid ... more

One of the fertility myths that annoys me the most is the misperception that adopting a child will cause you to become pregnant. The media continues to perpetuate this myth, which might be one reason that people seem to buy into this nonsense.

I adopted my son almost seven years ago, and I have not become pregnant. I know many other adoptive parents, and very few have conceived babies after adopting. While there are some adoptive parents who do go on to have a biological child, most do not. According to the ... more

In an effort to comfort the fertility-challenged woman, some insensitive people will ask, "Do you really need to have children?" This often comes from experienced parents who focus on the struggles in raising children rather than on the joys.

I have been a parent for almost seven years, so I am very familiar with the struggles involved in raising a child. My son also has some special needs - attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and asthma - so I am very familiar with the additional challenges of parenting a child with special needs. ... more

In my last post, Fertility Comments: "You Can Always Just Adopt," I talked about how choosing to adopt a child is not a casual decision. The same is true of in vitro fertilization (IVF). In an effort to comfort a person facing fertility issues, many people will say, "Why don't you just try IVF?", as if the procedure is just another choice. IVF is a much more complicated procedure that cannot and should not be undergone lightly.

IVF is Expensive

Most people do not appreciate ... more

I know many women who have struggled with their fertility. Most, if not all, have had people try to comfort them by saying, "You can always just adopt." Most infertile women do not find these words comforting and certainly not in the early stages of exploring fertility treatments.

I am an adoptive mother. I have been through the adoption process, and let me tell you - there is no "just" to the process. When people say, "You can always just adopt," they make it sound like, if you cannot have a hamburger, then a hot dog will do, too. Choosing to adopt is not ... more

Today's post is a special one: This is my 100th post on this blog. Can you believe it?

As I was scanning over the Fertility blog to think about a topic, I noticed that one of our sponsors is a fertility loan center. What a great idea!

I have never heard of a fertility loan, but I have no doubt that there are many people who could use one. With insurance companies limiting their coverage of fertility procedures and many procedures costing thousands of dollars, many couples will need to find ways to finance their dream of becoming parents. There are not ... more

Before I ever tried to conceive a baby, I used to watch the TV show Coach. The main characters, Hayden and Christine, tried to have a baby. After going through diagnostic tests, they learned that Hayden had a low sperm count. The doctor told him to switch from briefs to boxers, stay out of hot tubs, and do other things to keep his swimmers "cool."

I thought this storyline was rather funny, but I did not know whether it was based in reality. I just thought it was an amusing comment, leading to some of the funniest episodes of the series.

A few ... more

Infertility is a topic that comes up quite a bit on television shows. While fertility procedures are stressful and emotionally painful for those going through them, the procedures can be portrayed quite comically by the entertainment industry.

Take the television show Coach as an example. Their fertility treatment episodes aired before I went through fertility treatments myself, and I had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard at Hayden walking around with a cold water device down his pants to cool his swimmers. I also found it ... more

I have not written much about IVF because I never did the procedure. Also, my predecessors on this blog have covered this topic in the IVF category. However, I stumbled across an article about IVF yesterday that caught my attention.

This is not your typical IVF story. In fact, it starts out with a terrible tragedy. Lori Coble was driving on the highway in her minivan with her mother in the passenger seat and her three children, a boy ... more

My predecessor, Karianne, wrote some interesting posts on the mind/body connection as it relates to fertility. That got me thinking about the mind/body connection and how big a role that the mind plays in being able to conceive.

Generally speaking, I see a big connection between the mind and the body. For example, when I was repressing my emotions from a traumatic childhood, I had a very poor immune system. Now that I have dealt with my past, my immune system has become much stronger. ... more

On my favorite morning radio show, the disc jockeys were talking about a new study showing that breastfeeding does not cause saggy breasts. They talked about how this is great news because the benefits of breastfeeding are well known, but many women choose not to breastfeed their babies because they do not want their breasts to sag.

This news story would have set me off when I was trying to conceive. I would have been so angry that some women would put their vanity over what was best for their baby. I would have railed at God about the unfairness of allowing women ... more

When I was going through fertility treatments, I often felt out of the loop. Most of my friends were already parents. When they would talk about different things that interested their children, I was completely clueless. I had no idea who "Blue" was or why he was off looking for clues. The equivalent today would be not knowing who lives in a pineapple under the sea or why High School Musical is such a big deal. Until you are a parent, you have no reason to watch Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel.

Unfortunately, when most of your friends are already ... more

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association about an upcoming "webinar" on fertility treatment advances. The full title of the webinar is Fertility Treatment Advances: How the Last Decade of Success is Paving the Way for the Future.

I have never heard the term "webinar" before, but I deduced that it meant a seminar that takes place on the web. (Gotta love that college education, eh?) And I was correct. This is a seminar that will take place on the Internet on ... more

Will your health insurance cover fertility treatments? The answer to this question depends upon your policy. Many insurance companies specifically exclude fertility treatments from coverage because treatments can become so expensive. Others provide limited coverage, such as covering a set number of intrauterine inseminations (IUIs) or in vitro fertilization (IVF) attempts.

When I was going through fertility procedures in the late 1990's, my ... more

When it comes to fertility issues, many couples are very secretive about their struggles. They will endure the endless "When you are going to start a family?" questions with a stiff upper lip, never letting on how painful those questions really are.

I was never secretive about my desire to start a family, so I have a hard time understanding the secrecy. Don't get me wrong: There were times when I regretted being so public about it. When I just found out that another cycle failed to produce the baby I so desperately wanted, the last thing I ... more

If you have irregular periods, you might have a difficult time determining when you are ovulating. I ran into this problem myself when I was trying to conceive. My cycles were all over the map. One month, my cycle might run only 27 days, while the next month, it might run 36 days. This made it very hard to determine when I was ovulating.

When I first decided to go off birth control pills and tried to conceive, my OB-GYN told me to make sure we had intercourse two weeks after my period started. If my cycles had been exactly 28 days each month, ... more

If you have been trying to conceive for a while without success, you might be wondering when you should contact a fertility specialist. Some people in your life might be telling you "just relax" and it will happen in good time. Others might be telling you to seek out professional assistance right away. How do you know when to seek medical assistance?

If you have been actively trying to a conceive a child, most experts consider a couple to be infertile if they fail to conceive a child as defined below:

• After one year if the woman is ... more

There are a lot of ignorant people in the world. They do not mean to be ignorant and most likely do not even realize that they are, but their insensitive comments can really hurt. When you are already stressed out about trying to conceive as you undergo fertility treatments, the last thing you need to do is field insensitive comments.

I could not believe some of the insensitive comments and the annoying, unsolicited advice I received. Here is just a sample:

• Maybe God does not intend for you to become a mother.
• Relax.
• I can ... more

Goodness knows, I could go on (and on and on and on and on) about the negative aspects of struggling with fertility. In fact, I have done just that in the Challenges category of this blog. But what about the good stuff? Is there anything good about struggling with your fertility? Believe it or not, I have found some good things about being infertile, although I could not see them until after I became a mother through adoption.

The first good thing is actually kind of funny. Hub and I went to a ... more