Our first two frozen embryo transfers* took place in natural, (mostly) unmedicated cycles.  We are dealing with strictly male factor infertility.  All of my tests have come back normal. Therefore, we saw no reason to introduce excess hormones into my body when I could ovulate and establish a thick enough uterine lining on my own.  With that in mind, I looked at various natural and alternative remedies that we could incorporate into our cycles to maximize chances of success. One of these alternatives has been acupuncture.  We were lucky enough to have some 20 acupuncture sessions covered by our health insurance annually, as long as they are not billed specifically for infertility.  The purpose of my visits this time around has been to regulate my periods. After our last FET, I noticed… [more]

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of a repeat saline HSG and HIV/hepatitis blood panel.  Thank God, my favorite phlebotomist was there to draw my blood, and that part was uneventful.  The saline HSG was not pleasant, but even so, only two short sharp cramp-like pains later, I was done. And then, trying to be proactively helpful with the anticipated cramping following the procedure, I was given an ibuprofen “horse pill” (as I call it) with a small cup of water.  Just 10 minutes later, I was curled up in pain in a bathroom stall at the hospital. I couldn’t figure out what the matter was.  I was nauseous, I was cramping, and I couldn’t find a comfortable position to get a moment of relief.  I couldn’t think of anything else; I was… [more]

What if we never have children?  Until recently, I never entertained this possibility.  I saw infertility as a struggle that needed to be won.  To stop pursuing parenthood once we made up our minds that it was something we wanted was to give up.   I couldn’t envision a life where we would be happy in spite of not having children.  And yet, that’s where I am right now: content right where God has me. After over 4 years of pursuing domestic newborn adoption, foster care adoption, international adoption, a failed attempt at a natural cycle IVF with TESE-extracted sperm (which we didn’t find), and two failed frozen embryo transfers with adopted embryos, I finally joined my husband in a place of tranquil acceptance.  No, we’re not done trying to become parents… [more]

"Who's infertile, you or your spouse?"  When I get this question… oh, wait.  Actually, I don't usually get this question, as this would presume a certain level of knowledge on the topic (as in that it takes two to tango). Actually, whenever our infertility is revealed for the first time to a new person, it is automatically assumed that the condition lies with my body, and the commentary and advice that follow is based on this assumption. But let's just say, for the sake of argument, that someone would ask this question.  What is the appropriate way to answer it? First of all, infertility is a unique condition in that while it often lies physically in the body of only one individual, the effect is equally spread between both partners.  Therefore, it is… [more]

The latest statistics released on birth and pregnancy in the United States show that out of all the couples who fall in the range of an appropriate child-producing age, almost 9% of them are infertile.  The promise and possibilities that an in vitro pregnancy can offer a couple or an individual who is incapable of having children via coital means can spark joy and life where there was once disappointment and shame.  However, this scientific innovation does not come without its many proponents and critics.  It is quite common for different political parties, organizations and groups to have a firm stance on topics such as these, understanding all of the facets of an IVF conception and process can lead you to making the soundest choice and decision on where this… [more]

Writing about the creation of life is about beginning again. There is so much information available today for most people who are trying to conceive. Websites, blogs, advertisements, all leading to potential answers and antidotes which will certainly help you become pregnant. After having gone through so many infertility treatments, experiments on my body, mind and soul, it would inevitable lead to the "Begin Again". And, every time, the begin again was so excruciating and so painful, and yet there was the promise of next time. This is where the mind is so powerful over being influenced by those involved in this multi-million dollar industry. Your goal is to be a parent and you will go through things so incredible to have a… [more]

For Mother's Day my husband and daughter treated me to a wonderful dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. My daughter who is six years old still needs to be reminded to use her utensils and not her fingers and to sit properly in her chair from time to time. In other words, she needs to be reminded to use her restaurant manners. So, upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we couldn't help but beam with pride when a woman at a neighboring table complimented my daughter for her excellent table manners and her behavior in general. Then it happened. Totally out of left field the woman asked if we were my daughter’s parents… [more]

In most societies, it is assumed that girls will grow up and have babies. We, as girls are given dolls to play with, babysit, help with others' kids and are taught nurturing skills in preparation to become a Mom. Historically, women had children at a much younger age and had more children. As women entered the work force, the size of families steadily became smaller and women waited later to start their families. Awaiting - It is a word that describes a longing for something. And, with the decision to become a Mom, we are awaiting the moment that we know is coming; we will be pregnant and have a baby. It is natural. Awaiting, for the woman… [more]

Welcome back!  In my last entry, it was March of 2002, and I had just suffered my first miscarriage, after a year and a half of trying to get pregnant.  In early May, as we awaited the non-arrival of my period, I imagined a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend wherein we announced this pregnancy.  I was 10 days late and had never been late before, except when I had been briefly pregnant.  However, just to be sure, we were going to wait until Mother’s Day to take the test.  On Friday before Mother’s Day, however, the worst weekend of our lives began.  My husband’s beloved mother passed away.  It was a weekend filled with pain and loss.  To make things even worse, we… [more]

Welcome to the new series of Fertility Blogs! As a Mom and a woman who had some of the most excruciating experiences with my infertility treatments, I can empathize and sympathize with every woman, man and family during these emotional times. A friend once asked me to describe myself, using one word, starting with the letter of the alphabet. This gave me 26 ways to describe myself and I felt compelled to accept the challenge; knowing it would be simple, right? I began to ask other friends, family and colleagues to use a word that best described me in their eyes. Some were hilarious, others poignant, and still some even stung. As a columnist, I began a series on life from A-Z and it… [more]