One of the most challenging aspects of infertility is dealing with the financial implications if you have no insurance benefits for fertility treatments. In addition, combining work schedules with the rigorous time constraints of fertility treatments and then managing to get a decent amount of time off for maternity leave if the treatments are successful can be a nightmare. There were many times during our IVF cycle that I was envious of people who lived in mandated states, those who simply paid a co-pay when I was writing massive checks. When I finally did conceive I was especially jealous of the maternity leave of most women in European countries, but knew that I should be grateful… [more]

I remember all to well the time when I excitedly, and with much anxiety and trepidation, began clomid treatment. I soon learned that I had very little to get excited about though, because as mentioned in another posting, clomid ended up being the worst medication for me in terms of side effects and that it never resulted in a viable pregnancy. At the time, however, I was naive about just how difficult it actually can be to conceive and thought that it was sure to work. When it was finally prescribed I had already spent many, many months searching out stories of its success or failure and was wondering why in the world my doctor had not yet… [more]

When I was younger I had a pretty detailed picture of my life in my mind. Needless to say, almost nothing looks the same as I imagined it would when I was fifteen. I envisioned getting married relatively young, having children before I was thirty (at least two), and becoming a top-notch attorney living in a well-appointed house on the beach. Well, I got one right - I was 24 when I married. I am not, however, a lawyer or even remotely involved in the industry and I live 7+ hours from the closest beach. Despite my best efforts, I also did not have children until well after my 31st birthday. I… [more]

It seems that of all of the supposed "no-no" activities when trying to conceive I did most of them. I liked my caffeine and glass of wine, I rarely remembered to take folic acid or vitamins, I didn't eat the diet advised and therefore was not at the optimal weight - the list goes on. One thing, though, that showed up constantly as a "don't" was the advice not to douche - something I have never done and kind of skipped over because it didn't really apply to me. I have since learned, however, that 20 to 40 percent of women in the United States douche regularly and half of those do it as often as once… [more]

I have mentioned this in other posts, but it definitely warrants mentioning again - frequent sex is best for conception. Maybe I am not the typical infertile woman and there is a lot of action in everyone else's bedrooms, but I will admit that ultimately we got to the point of only doing the "baby dance" when the ovulation kit said go. Months, and then years of no success led to sex becoming somewhat of a chore. The freedom of just being able to "do it" when we wanted and not if we didn't was gone because we had to have sex in the right window. We certainly tested the theory of every night and every… [more]

Sometimes couples are not on the same page when it comes to fertility treatments. In my relationship, my husband was much more willing to wait and give it time than I was. He didn't feel the same sense of urgency that I did, nor the overwhelming feeling as though in quicksand with no control over anything that I wanted to do. As if the inability to conceive was not frustrating enough, dealing with a lack of understanding from the man I wanted to have children with as well almost sent me over the edge. There were times that I actually thought long and hard about the question of whether I wanted the baby or the husband more… [more]

I have mentioned in previous posts that I would have transferred three or more embryos if they would have let me. I wanted as many opportunities for success as possible! My thinking at that time was a bit naive, however. I was only thinking about the success rates quoted and the probability of even one making it. I didn't consider the extreme risk of high order multiples to me and to the unborn babies. I didn't concern myself with the financial implications of having twins, triplets, or quads or the sheer logistics of managing that many infants. I never once thought about the likelihood of bedrest and babies being born premature if more than one… [more]

When my husband and I decided to try to have a baby we talked of our hopes and dreams for the yet to be conceived child. We both envisioned a boy first, followed by a girl, and even talked of a third whose gender was not speculated. We by no means only wanted a boy, and would not have really cared one way or the other. In our idealized picture of our family, though, there was always the first born older brother looking out for his sibling(s). As the years went by (without us having a child of either gender) we encountered many friends and family who had boys first, girls first, second children… [more]

If you smoke, or even if you don't, you know that smoking is bad for you. You know that you should quit, and most women striving to get pregnant absolutely promise to not touch a cigarette once they finally conceive. I have always thought that there were two pretty distinct approaches to dealing with infertility. There are those that use the infertility diagnosis as inspiration to be as healthy and fit as possible in hopes that something they are eating or drinking or doing is having a negative impact. Then there are others who claim to take advantage of the time of not being pregnant by doing everything they wouldn't be able to do… [more]

Whenever weight is mentioned as a factor in infertility, I automatically think of being overweight. This is definitely not surprising to me since in the last ten years being underweight was not a personal danger. I gained after college, gained even more with fertility treatments, and had trouble losing for a myriad of reasons - though I choose to mostly blame my extra 15 (or 20 or more) on infertility. Anyway, I realize that not talking about the hazard of being underweight is short-sighted since there are many women who may unwittingly be struggling because they weigh too little. Whereas women who have excess body weight can be faced with an overproduction of hormones that disrupt… [more]