Nine Ways To Find Peace of Mind by Susan Jeffers

Susan Jeffers has written a book titled, Embracing Uncertainty that speaks about how we are as a nation of Americans. First of all, we are worriers. Worried about all sorts of stuff. Wanting peace in all situations. (But, who doesn't?) In her book she gives 9 ways to help to calm our minds. As I was reading through her list, I felt that a lot of these are given as advice to dealing with infertility. Many of these would be useful in a lot of situations.

1. "Un-set" Your Heart These are the words that she uses to describe the process of letting go. Instead of trying to control things that cannot be controlled, we can let go and find peace.

2. Create a "wondering" life instead of a "hoping" life This suggestion is amazingly simple and yet I found it to be very powerful. I hadn't heard of reframing a situation in this way, but I am certainly going to use it. Here is how she explains it:

It helps us un-set our hearts when we replace the words "I hope" with the words "I wonder." Let me demonstrate. Instead of "I hope the war ends quickly," make it "I wonder if the war will end quickly." Instead of "I hope the stock market goes up," make it "I wonder if the stock market will go up." Instead of "I hope I keep my job," make it "I wonder if I'll keep my job." Notice the relief in the simple shift. Even with difficult situations in our lives, substituting "I wonder" for "I hope"keeps our hopes from being dashed and opens up the possibility of our learning and growing from whatever happens.

So instead of, "I hope that I'm pregnant this month," could become "I wonder if I'm pregnant this month." I think that I could have used this thought cycle back then.