I’m wondering if I’m in the majority on this? Before I knew that I wanted kids, I used to be addicted to the TLC show “A Baby Story”. It was so precious and fairy tale like that I would get sucked in and spend so much time watching and enjoying it. I even remember taping episodes as well. The feel good aspect of the show was addictive.
Enter infertility. And pregnancy. And new mommyhood.
I despised this show with such a vengance while I couldn’t conceive and miscarried. I would try to watch from time to time and was so upset with watching that I hated myself afterwards. And it brought out such undesirable rage in me that I wondered if I was an evil, jealous person. The feel good feelings that I used to have were replaced with genuine desire to watch others suffer. I would sit there wishing that the epidural wouldn’t take so I could watch these women be in physical pain, not unlike the emotional pain that I had been feeling.
During pregnancy I wouldn’t watch because I had been so tainted on the effortlessness of the conceptions and pregnancies that I couldn’t relate. I didn’t have the fairy tale and I was outraged. Why weren’t there women like me on the show? Talking about the worry and fear, counting the times that the baby moved, and if she didn’t, the absolute knowing that your baby had died? I didn’t think about the nursery like these other moms. I didn’t shop like these other moms. Once again, I felt the freak.
Trying again after birth, I was still angry. The moms and dads and babies all looked so cute. And together. And rich! Where was the postpartum talk. The talk of absolutely not being able to sleep? How you wished that not one more person would come to visit? Where were the piles of laundry that overtook my home? The spit up and big potty all over mommy’s maternity shirt that she was still wearing? Yes, as you can tell, I needed some meds to let a show make me feel so down.
So what about now? Ivy is 3, and we adopted Bec. How would I feel about the show today?
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November 8th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
I hate the show. None of the mothers breastfeed. They all complain about wanting induced even though going into labor naturally is the best thing for the child. And, “OMGLABORISSOPAINFUL.”
Uh-duh.
We don’t watch anymore.
November 8th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
OOOH, I have a nasty epidural story for YOU!
With my first, the epidural didn’t take very well. I ended up going to c-section, which is usually done somehow through the same epidural-type thing. Anyway, the dr. kept pressing on my belly asking me if it was numb. No, it wasn’t. I kept saying no, the anesthesiologist did whatever they do, and the answer was still no. Apparently they didn’t believe me, AND THEY CUT ANYWAY. The cut was the last thing I remember of his birth. I screamed (obviously) and they put the knock-out mask over my face, lights out. To top it all off, I had had 2 ultrasounds that had said “girl”…and out came a BOY! Imagine explaining this to a first-time mom drifting in and out of anesthesia.
And this is what led me to a nurse-midwife for the delivery of my second child (-:
ps – I know you wouldn’t wish a bad epidural on me, much less the experience of being stabbed in the gut, regardless of our ease of conception! Just thought you’d be amused by the story since you know me. (-:
November 8th, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I too know the pain and jealousy of watching other women with their new babies when my pregnancy tests were time and time again negative. I believe in finding the positive in every situation. I watched “A Baby A story” during that time and used it to visualize myself holding that much desired baby in my arms. I was 41 and an “expert” told us that we would NEVER have a baby because I did not qualify for any of the therapies available. The only option available to me was egg donation–I said yuck no thanks. When I said no to drugs, I really mean no drugs at all, including does used in conception therapies. My vision was realized after four weeks in treatment with a Chinese doctor. My pumpkin pie is now 4 years old. I now find “A Baby Story to be such a bore.” I am wishing that by next Christmas you will be posting a similar story. Fill your heart with hope not anger or rage.
November 8th, 2006 at 8:49 pm
I can’t do A Baby Story anymore either. I really can’t do that whole channel anymore really.
November 8th, 2006 at 9:47 pm
Karianne-
I have felt your same exact pain – and yet I couldn’t turn that darn show off. The inasane part is that it’s the same story over and over again; just different people plugged in. I actually went so far as to write the network and ask them if they could show someone going through the process of adoption – not all babies stories are the same. As you can guess, I never heard back.
November 9th, 2006 at 5:37 am
Yes – jealous, but lots of times I feel the same about the adoption shows on TV. If you want a baby, you want a baby!
The thing I most hate about those shows is that labor takes way longer than a half hour – and is much more painful and messy and rewarding than they showed on TV. I was in labor for 3 days with my first son – they’d never show that. Oh wait, if I hadn’t had such great doctors I would’ve had a c-section…
Anyway, I feel ya.
November 9th, 2006 at 9:00 am
I always wondered what they did when people (G-d forbid) had a miscarriage or even a stillborn baby? Did the tape get thrown away? I suppose I’m just a morbidly curious person.
November 17th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
I was the same way – that show came out when I was in grade 11 and I used to watch that show all the time and tape it because I wanted a baby so bad. But now that we have infertility issues I have a really hard time watching that show. However, I now love watching the new show they have on the life network called “Adoption Stories”. I am not 25 and have adopted my son who will be 3 next week and that is a show we watch together and I keep pausing it and I use it to help him understand what is going on, and that these children are adopted like him. It’s a show we watch together! He’ll sit there and tell me that the child is special because they are comming into a special home. Pretty smart for a 2 year old!