I have been reading Alternadad by Neal Pollack for the past couple of days and I've been loving it. I have laughed out loud and absolutely cannot put it down. His idea of parenting, and his reality are so far off of the mark, he reminds me of myself.

Before I encountered infertility, I thought that I would be like these parents that Pollack describes here:

In Rogers Park, it seemed impossible to be any kind of parent other than an eccentric one. One couple I got to know owned the No Exit Cafe, a place that had existed in several shades of brown since 1958 and practically screamed Leo Kottke Slept Here. They raised three kids in a world of folk music, bad poetry and men with food in their beards who played backgammon and Go for money. I hung out with them from time to time because I like them, but also because I had trouble believing they were real. I wanted to say, You're parents? But you make your won jewlry and attend Ntive American coming of age ceremonies in South Dakota! It's not possible!

I am a huge fan of Ariel Gore, who publishes the zine, HipMama, which she started as her senior project in college. In my fantasy of parenthood, I thought that I would be just like her. But that is not how it turned out at all.

Whichever fantasy or dream of whichever parent you will be, we actually change once you become that parent. I always thought that I would be the alternative mom. But little did I know that now, a lot of people have piercings. A lot of people have an artist's lifestyle and it isn't as alternative as I thought. I'm more traditional than I ever thought I would be, except for discipline, which Chris takes over quite easily.

And however we end up is fine. Even if it is different than we had thought.