I miss your fertility blog!! Hope this blog is back soon!

In the meantime, for anyone interested, I found another blog called http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com which seems very informative.

Penny

I have never written on a blog regarding my own secondary infertility before, but I hove no idea how else to deal with the recurrent and intense pain and loss I feel. I have one grown daughter from my first marriage who is twenty three. My second husband (the best) and I have been married 18 years and have gone through two miscarriages and 2 rounds of IUI. (IVF and other options are beyond our means) When I had my daghter I was just sixteen and it was awful. I attempted suicide and tried to miscarry due to the shame and ridicule from my family. Her birth was not celebrated in any way and I struggled through a brief marriage which was a huge mistake and all the stuff that goes along with trying make good out of what I then believed to be an awful mistake. When that marriage ended and I met my current husband (at age 20) he was 23 and exactly the kind of person I wanted a lifelong partnership with. When we began trying to conceive all I could think was that I finally have a chance to become a mother the right way and be able to celebrate it. I would have nothing to be ashamed of. I have everything else I wanted in life but a child with the man I love. I hoped for years that my daughter would overshadow this desire and be enough. I want so much to just be over it, but it just doesn't go away. I'll be 40 in less than a month and just want to cry ALL THE TIME!!! It seems like all the fertile women on the planet want to be my friend and their kids too.