This blog is devastating. I came across it a while ago and really wondered if I should mention it here. It is the story of Jessica and her fight for a baby and her fight for her life. The blog is no longer being updated, and will be removed in a few days. Although I’m not really sure when it will be taken off of the net, please take a look just in case it is still there.
I am not able to cross post any of her writings, as she and her family have requested that we not do so. Just please, take my word for it when I tell you that reading her story is worthwhile and important, although the ending is not what anyone hoped for.
While I was dealing with my infertility, I would often try to come up with scenarios that were worse than mine. I would say to myself sentences that began with, “At least,” and then I would fill in the blanks. Some statements were, At least I got pregnant; at least I wasn’t too far along; at least I have had the ability to have medical care; at least I wasn’t in too much pain. I never came across this “at least” in my mind. “At least I don’t have cancer.”
Now, of course, because of how we lost my dad, I think about cancer daily. I wonder if I have it, if I will get it, if my kids will get it, if Chris will get it. And then I wonder if it will be treatable, when I go down that dark road of my imagination, I wonder if cancer will be how I die. I also know that this is all part of recovering from losing him, allowing myself to “face” certain tragedies in my mind.
Cancer, Baby blog is the joining of two of my nightmares, lived by a wonderful woman who gave us a gift of a window into her life and her struggles. Besides asking you to read this blog, and letting you know that it is there, I really wanted to write this post for her. Thank you, Jessica, and rest in peace.