Causes

Another embarrassing confession - when it was first suggested to me to take my basal body temperature I had no idea where to begin and or what to do. I didn't know if I needed a special thermometer, what I was supposed to be noticing and what it meant, etc. Measuring and charting basal body temperature tells you when you are ovulating and your fertile days and is a typical first step for couples experiencing difficult conceiving. In case there are others out there like me who are advised to take your basal temperature and chart it who feel a little lost about the whole thing, I thought I would just cover the basics of the "BBT" method… [more]

As much as I complain about the exorbitant expense of IVF there was one "add-on" that I really wished that my doctor would suggest. In our IVF class they talked about ICSI and the improved success rates for some patients. Our doctor did not think it was necessary for us, but at the time I wanted to do anything possible to improve our chances. I did a little remedial research and what exactly the procedure is and although I thought it couldn't hurt, my doctor ultimately decided that it was just not something that we needed to spend the extra money on. ICSI is an acronym for intracytoplasmic sperm injection. Put simply it is the process… [more]

I find it very appalling that in an industry that is largely self-pay there are many deceitful clinics that advertise false pricing for IVF. A friend of mine who was using my same clinic and just beginning her fertility treatments challenged me when I said that my husband and I had spent easily $15,000 on our IVF cycle when all was said and done. She had recently attended her consultation when they told her (and gave her a packet of information) that said IVF was $8,000. My explanation was probably unnecessarily heated, but I remember feeling as though we had been mislead and wanted to make it clear that we spent well more than the original estimate… [more]

When your insurance does not cover fertility treatments the cost of self-paying for IVF can be very overwhelming. When we decided to try IVF we knew that we could only do one cycle - that's all we could afford! When searching around for what it would truly cost (and it still ended up being higher than expected)I came across an intriguing option. My husband and I loved to travel and were selfishly upset that all of our savings that we had hoped to use for trips and treats in years to come was going to be used for just one IVF cycle. So, when I heard about IVF vacations I thought it was an excellent… [more]

When we made the decision to move onto IVF I got tunnel vision and suddenly felt as if I had to know everything there was about the process, about other women's experiences, and about infertility in general. In addition to seeking out information on the internet and joining forums, I also read as many books as I could get my hands on. I sought out books written in a style that wouldn't thrust me into a further pit of despair; I was looking for humor or stories written from the trenches and found some that really did help. I, like a lot of other infertile women, first read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It… [more]

Men and women really are different in their styles of communication. Nothing highlights that more than when a couple is facing infertility. All I want to do in moments of crisis or emotional havoc is hash it out with my husband. I want to discuss all of the pros and cons, find solutions and make a plan. On the otherhand, it seems that all he wants to do is find every way possible to avoid the elephant in the room. My husband is the master at avoiding difficult discussions, which was very obvious as more and more decisions had to be made in our journey to be parents. I think what drove… [more]

Visit any infertility message board or blog of someone undergoing IVF and you will most likely see the question, "is spotting normal?" As we struggle to conceive each and every month we hope and pray that we don't have a period, don't see blood of any kind, and even the slightest hint of spotting can make you heartbroken. It was typical of my cycle to begin with spotting, and month after month my inspection of the toilet paper at about the time of an expected period would yield surefire signs of impending menstruation. So, when I saw pink (and red and brown) a few days before my scheduled beta test I was certain that my period was beginning… [more]

I was recently asked an interesting question - something that I had not really pondered before then. A family member asked me if we thought we would ever tell our children that they were conceived through IVF. My initial reaction was that no, I probably wouldn't tell them since if they had been conceived in the back of the Chevy or on a white sand beach they wouldn't have that information either. But, as I began to think about it I revised my opinion. our children know from the time that they can remember that they are adopted, and special, and chosen. My husband was adopted and he was adamant that it was one of the best… [more]

In the world of infertility you often feel as though you should be "game" for anything - you know that you are going through all of this to have a child and you can sometimes be made to feel selfish or unenlightened if you have a desire to have a biological child. If you want to be pregnant, you often have this niggling thought in the back of your mind that pregnancy should not be a goal - a baby should - and that means that you are always cautious when you talk about conceiving. I always made sure I talked about wanting a baby instead of saying "I want to be pregnant" for fear that I would be judged as… [more]

While suffering with infertility I always had a secret hope that I am sure is shared by many other people who pursue fertility treatments. I wanted more than anything to just miraculously get pregnant and prove all the doctors wrong, showing everyone that we weren't actually infertile and that we could get pregnant on our own. I did lots of reading about people who got pregnant after the HSG test and convinced myself that would happen to me too, but it didn't. I kept putting off the initial consultation with the Reproductive Endocrinologist thinking that I would have luck in the month before the appointment, to no avail. I tried a new tactic every month that was supposed… [more]