Mother's Day

For Mother's Day my husband and daughter treated me to a wonderful dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. My daughter who is six years old still needs to be reminded to use her utensils and not her fingers and to sit properly in her chair from time to time. In other words, she needs to be reminded to use her restaurant manners. So, upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we couldn't help but beam with pride when a woman at a neighboring table complimented my daughter for her excellent table manners and her behavior in general. Then it happened. Totally out of left field the woman asked if we were my daughter’s parents… [more]

Welcome to the new series of Fertility Blogs! As a Mom and a woman who had some of the most excruciating experiences with my infertility treatments, I can empathize and sympathize with every woman, man and family during these emotional times. A friend once asked me to describe myself, using one word, starting with the letter of the alphabet. This gave me 26 ways to describe myself and I felt compelled to accept the challenge; knowing it would be simple, right? I began to ask other friends, family and colleagues to use a word that best described me in their eyes. Some were hilarious, others poignant, and still some even stung. As a columnist, I began a series on life from A-Z and it… [more]

I belong to a church that has a beautiful focus on families and the sacredness of them. This is a wonderful thing, except when you're infertile and feel like you're going to hell if you don't have a kid by age 25. I don't mean to bash the teachings of my church; I'm just trying to express the hardships that I dealt with being infertile in a congregation of mothers with large families. Our church has a tradition of handing out flowers on Mothers' Day to everyone woman. The first year I just kind of laughed at the idea of getting flowers when I wasn't a mother yet. The second and third years weren't as cute or funny though. When I was… [more]

Coping With Loss on Mother's Day Plant a tree in her honor Ask God to Help You Through Spend the Day With Family Now I think that the family idea is great, but only if they are sensitive to your feelings. I believe that many times, even the nicest people can make you feel worse by saying ignorant things or saying nothing at all. Be sure to do an emotional check before following this advice. Reach Out and Volunteer A friend of mine volunteered on the holidays after she divorced at a soup kitchen serving food. It kept her busy and her mind off of how the holidays, "used to be". And although it worked for her on the actual day, it wasn't as life changing as she expected it to… [more]

Coping With Loss on Mother's Day submitted by Beliefnet Readers. It's no secret that Mother's Day can be the worst for want to be mommies. Although a lot of the hints from the above article were meant for other losses besides infertility, I believe that some can help out in a lot of different situations. The link above will take you to the complete list. Here are some that I felt were appropriate for this blog: Create an Online Memorial Jane Cassidy, Cerrillos, N.M.: "Grief seems to have a life of its own." Jane's daughter died in her early 20s. To help survive the loss, Jane created www.happybirthdayrenee.com, which I spent the morning looking through. It is a very… [more]

During my infertile years, which may not be over, I was lucky enough to have a mother, sister and husband who realized that although a was not a Mother, with a capital M, I was a motherer, as a verb, not a noun. This quality was honored by them on Mother's Day, not the title Mother. Each one had seen me in the act of mothering. My sister witnessed me mothering my nephews and niece, my mother noticed the mothering of her grandchildren and my husband recognized that I mothered him, our household, our cats and some of our friends. Since I am in a healing profession, I've also mothered my clients and coworkers. I got cards from my nephews and niece, my mother and my husband… [more]