Miscarriage

Each year, for 11 years, I have gone an annual girls' trip to the beach with up to 10 (some years there are a couple that can't make it but we typically have 7 or 8 every time) college friends. Through the years our conversations have changed as together we have made it through the first years after college and trying to establish ourselves in our chosen careers; to getting married and navigating our way through the newlywed years with the help of friends and experience; to celebrating first, second, and even third children for some. This year there were two absent - one was nursing her third child and since we make this an absolutely no children, no… [more]

I have mentioned in previous posts that the very first fertility treatment I tried was clomiphine citrate, more commonly called Clomid or Serophene. I was initially prescribed Clomid after my diagnosis of PCOS. Prior to starting the Clomid medication I had tracked my cycles and realized that I do not reliably ovulate each month - it was definitely hit or miss. The goal of Clomid is to induce ovulation and when I told my ob/gyn that I was not ovulating every month he assured me that Clomid had an excellent success rate and that he was confident that it would do the trick. He remarked that I would only be allowed to take the Clomid for six cycles, but told… [more]

When you are struggling to conceive one of the things you long for the most is just to be normal. Nothing could make my jealousy peak more than when someone would tell of the fun and unique way they told their partner they were expecting. The innocence of a newly pregnant woman at only 8 weeks already planning her nursery and thinking about names would make me green with envy. The couple who talked about planning to have Johnny or Sally in the summer to coincide with vacation from teaching would literally make me want to scream. All of those reactions are very "normal" when you get pregnant easily, but when you stare at negative pregnancy tests month after… [more]

Another tip that I posted last week was to send an email to Heaven. Here is another way that you can honor your baby online. Letters to Heaven Did you ever feel the need to express your grief and sadness over losing your baby? Did the anniversary of your baby's death come and go and you wanted to do something to remember him or her by? Maybe you just want to let your baby know that you miss him or her. Our 'Letter to Heaven' section is the place to write down your thoughts, express your grief, or just a place to say 'Hello sweetheart, I miss you.' Each letter will remain on file, amongst hundreds of other letters from grieving parents. Each is as unique as the baby who was… [more]

Supercluster Galaxy Click on the link above to see a night sky filled with stars named after babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDs, and other infant loss. The page is created by Empty Cradles. Last week I wrote about ways to cope on Mother's Day with loss. One of the tips was to create an online memorial. So today, I thought that I would look up some memorial sites that offer a chance to remember our babies, because some don't have the option without a birth and death date. On the home page is a simple form to fill out where you choose the type of star you would like to represent your baby, then the name and significant dates… [more]

This is a post from my friend Carrie. I was so touched by her words and asked if I could share it with you. She graciously said yes. Today I mourn the loss of the life inside of me. The life that I only knew of for under 2 months. The life I'd learned to love more than my very self. Today I realize the finality of it all -- I will never even feel the little one inside of me kick, let alone look into her eyes, kiss her tiny toes or see her first smile. I will never wipe away her tears, never give her advice, or ever even have her upset at me. I won't get to hear her cry while she cuts teeth, or… [more]

A Letter To My Baby Beginnings The above post is from blog writer, Serenity Now! Whose title is hysterical and whose writing is amazing and true. While clicking onto her blog today, I found this beautiful letter that she wrote to her beautiful embryos that she lost about a year ago. The whole letter is so touching, yet, this one section went straight into my heart. In my hope that you were right around the corner, I didn't realise that my body was broken. That no amount of yoga or acupuncture or meditation was going to give you a place in which to thrive. I lost myself in the hope of the next cycle. And with each negative, I threw the reminders of you away. As if you… [more]

Today in my inbox, I had an offer to "Remember My Loved One With a Memorial Locket". I didn't click on it, but it reminded me of something. After I lost our first pregnancy, I wanted to somehow have something to memorialize and tangible for me to hold on to. I really wanted a locket. But what would I put in it? I had thought about taking a photo of the positive pregnancy test and putting it in one of the slots, with a printed due date or loss date on the other. And then I thought about leaving it empty, but that just felt way too empty. Just like the emptiness that I had inside. I wanted to… [more]

Miscarriage Coping Guide for Men on SharedJourney I typed men miscarriage into the google search engine tonight and came across this list for men and how to cope with a miscarriage. Now, I'll tell you. Being through a miscarriage more than once, I'm not too sympathetic to men in that situation. In fact, when it came to Chris, I was downright resentful and irritated that I was shouldering the majority of the recovery, while he seemed to have all of the faith in the world that things would work out for us, just because. No rhyme or reason behind his line of thinking. He just knew that we would carry a child and he wasn't concerned. Yes, there were times that I hated him for that. Well… [more]

Miscarriage Coping Guide for Men Another item that made me feel very comfortable in referring this site to the readers was this: Take the opportunity during this tragic event to invest extra energy into your relationship-spend quality time together, grieving the loss of your baby, as well as allowing yourselves time and space to grow and change as you experience pregnancy loss and as you recommence your journey towards pregnancy together. I know that in our situation, I reached out a lot more than Chris did. I reached out to him, and to my friends, and to my family, and to others online who had been in similar situations. Even though I just read what the internet had to offer, I felt that I immersed myself in the learning… [more]