Miscarriage

With 10-25% of all clinically established pregnancies ending in miscarriage, it’s a wonder that anyone would purposefully put themselves at risk of going through such a heartache. When a couple has to employ the services of a reproductive endocrinologist and pay for artificial reproductive technologies (ARTs) in order to even attempt a pregnancy, it’s all the more amazing that people take the chance. On average, IVF carries with it a 35-40% success rate for women under age 35, just over 30% for women between 35 and 37, just over 20% for women between 38-40, and only about 13% and 4% respectively for women aged 41-42 and those over 42. So between the likelihood of a success (defined here as a live birth of the awaited child) and… [more]

While the infamous two-week-wait seems to be dreaded by most women, it's only because the focus so often is about what we want. "Obviously," you may say. But for a person of faith, it is not necessarily so clear-cut. This time of uncertainty offers several opportunities for growing in our relationship with God, and perhaps also with others. First and foremost, stressing over the desired positive outlook only sets us up for failure when, inevitably, so many of us do not succeed every time we try. Instead, we have an opportunity to practice truly turning our will over to God. Clearly, we desire that the cycle results in a healthy take-home baby. I'm not suggesting that we should try to want what we don't actually want… [more]

For Mother's Day my husband and daughter treated me to a wonderful dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. My daughter who is six years old still needs to be reminded to use her utensils and not her fingers and to sit properly in her chair from time to time. In other words, she needs to be reminded to use her restaurant manners. So, upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we couldn't help but beam with pride when a woman at a neighboring table complimented my daughter for her excellent table manners and her behavior in general. Then it happened. Totally out of left field the woman asked if we were my daughter’s parents… [more]

In most societies, it is assumed that girls will grow up and have babies. We, as girls are given dolls to play with, babysit, help with others' kids and are taught nurturing skills in preparation to become a Mom. Historically, women had children at a much younger age and had more children. As women entered the work force, the size of families steadily became smaller and women waited later to start their families. Awaiting - It is a word that describes a longing for something. And, with the decision to become a Mom, we are awaiting the moment that we know is coming; we will be pregnant and have a baby. It is natural. Awaiting, for the woman… [more]

Welcome back!  In my last entry, it was March of 2002, and I had just suffered my first miscarriage, after a year and a half of trying to get pregnant.  In early May, as we awaited the non-arrival of my period, I imagined a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend wherein we announced this pregnancy.  I was 10 days late and had never been late before, except when I had been briefly pregnant.  However, just to be sure, we were going to wait until Mother’s Day to take the test.  On Friday before Mother’s Day, however, the worst weekend of our lives began.  My husband’s beloved mother passed away.  It was a weekend filled with pain and loss.  To make things even worse, we… [more]

Greetings, fellow adoption journeyers!  New blogger here.  My name is  Jamaica and I'm the lucky mom of 4 great kids who came to us through adoption...with another on the way!   Each one has a funny, unique story of their journey to becoming our son or daughter, and over the course of time, I invite you to learn about us and how we became a family.  But, first I will share with you how it all began, because many of you may now be where I was a decade ago. As a young woman, in my early 20s,  I took it for granted that I would marry and have children.  But the failure of my first marriage put an end to that...or at least… [more]

We should never assume or expect things in life. I know this, I remind myself of this, but yet I still do it. For some reason I assumed that if I put an effort forth to having a child than I would get one. All I needed to do was show that I was ready and really wanted one and then it would happen. It's naive, but it's what got me through the day. So when the day came that I found out I was pregnant I became overwhelmed with joy. I wanted to tell everyone and have them share the joy with me. I started thinking of baby names, ideas for a nursery, and looking online at maternity clothes. I had… [more]

Each year, for 11 years, I have gone an annual girls' trip to the beach with up to 10 (some years there are a couple that can't make it but we typically have 7 or 8 every time) college friends. Through the years our conversations have changed as together we have made it through the first years after college and trying to establish ourselves in our chosen careers; to getting married and navigating our way through the newlywed years with the help of friends and experience; to celebrating first, second, and even third children for some. This year there were two absent - one was nursing her third child and since we make this an absolutely no children, no… [more]

I have mentioned in previous posts that the very first fertility treatment I tried was clomiphine citrate, more commonly called Clomid or Serophene. I was initially prescribed Clomid after my diagnosis of PCOS. Prior to starting the Clomid medication I had tracked my cycles and realized that I do not reliably ovulate each month - it was definitely hit or miss. The goal of Clomid is to induce ovulation and when I told my ob/gyn that I was not ovulating every month he assured me that Clomid had an excellent success rate and that he was confident that it would do the trick. He remarked that I would only be allowed to take the Clomid for six cycles, but told… [more]

When you are struggling to conceive one of the things you long for the most is just to be normal. Nothing could make my jealousy peak more than when someone would tell of the fun and unique way they told their partner they were expecting. The innocence of a newly pregnant woman at only 8 weeks already planning her nursery and thinking about names would make me green with envy. The couple who talked about planning to have Johnny or Sally in the summer to coincide with vacation from teaching would literally make me want to scream. All of those reactions are very "normal" when you get pregnant easily, but when you stare at negative pregnancy tests month after… [more]