Grieving Miscarriage

Another tip that I posted last week was to send an email to Heaven. Here is another way that you can honor your baby online. Letters to Heaven Did you ever feel the need to express your grief and sadness over losing your baby? Did the anniversary of your baby's death come and go and you wanted to do something to remember him or her by? Maybe you just want to let your baby know that you miss him or her. Our 'Letter to Heaven' section is the place to write down your thoughts, express your grief, or just a place to say 'Hello sweetheart, I miss you.' Each letter will remain on file, amongst hundreds of other letters from grieving parents. Each is as unique as the baby who was… [more]

Supercluster Galaxy Click on the link above to see a night sky filled with stars named after babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDs, and other infant loss. The page is created by Empty Cradles. Last week I wrote about ways to cope on Mother's Day with loss. One of the tips was to create an online memorial. So today, I thought that I would look up some memorial sites that offer a chance to remember our babies, because some don't have the option without a birth and death date. On the home page is a simple form to fill out where you choose the type of star you would like to represent your baby, then the name and significant dates… [more]

This is a post from my friend Carrie. I was so touched by her words and asked if I could share it with you. She graciously said yes. Today I mourn the loss of the life inside of me. The life that I only knew of for under 2 months. The life I'd learned to love more than my very self. Today I realize the finality of it all -- I will never even feel the little one inside of me kick, let alone look into her eyes, kiss her tiny toes or see her first smile. I will never wipe away her tears, never give her advice, or ever even have her upset at me. I won't get to hear her cry while she cuts teeth, or… [more]

A Letter To My Baby Beginnings The above post is from blog writer, Serenity Now! Whose title is hysterical and whose writing is amazing and true. While clicking onto her blog today, I found this beautiful letter that she wrote to her beautiful embryos that she lost about a year ago. The whole letter is so touching, yet, this one section went straight into my heart. In my hope that you were right around the corner, I didn't realise that my body was broken. That no amount of yoga or acupuncture or meditation was going to give you a place in which to thrive. I lost myself in the hope of the next cycle. And with each negative, I threw the reminders of you away. As if you… [more]

In 2002 December 4th was going to be my due date with our first baby. I miscarried about 10 weeks along so we never made it to that special delivery day. Yet, every year, I think about our baby and remember the joy of being pregnant. I also remember the extreme sorrow when we lost him. (I write "him" although I have no proof besides how I felt when I was carrying him. I thought for sure that our baby was a boy.) The first year of loss I had a princess day with one of my best girlfriends. We both took the day off from work, got manicures and pedicures and went to lunch. It wasn't sad, we stayed busy to not think… [more]

These are also from www.beliefnet.com in their daily prayers section under Christianity. There are other religions represented as well, as the Fertility Prayer was from the Catholic section from yesterday. I wish that I would have been more pro active in looking for prayers to help me through this time. Hopefully, these prayers will not be needed by you or a loved one, but if so, please pass them on if you feel that it is appropriate. Prayer for a Woman Who Has Had a Miscarriage O God of love, source of life, hear our prayers for _____. Her baby died before it ever came to birth. The blessing of your love was torn from her body, leaving her empty and devastated. Comfort her now in her sorrow. Restore her… [more]

I was sitting in church this Sunday listening to others share their joys and concerns. A woman stood up and wanted prayers for her granddaughter and grandson in law. Her granddaughter had just suffered a miscarriage last week and she was concerned for them. While she was talking and sharing the news my mouth went dry. My stomach hardened. I remembered going to my first church service after my miscarriages and wanting to get up and share what had happened, but I couldn't. I just sat quietly with tears running down my face. It was hard being there, but even harder to not be there. All of the memories around that time are difficult to remember. During that period in my life, there… [more]

From the list of Grief Issues I posted yesterday, I'm going to explore the loss of innocence for future pregnancies. I didn't understand that this issue would be a problem for me until I got pregnant again and again after my first miscarriage. The starry-eyed wonder and excitement from first finding out that I was pregnant was first replaced with hope, and then in the last pregnancy, extreme fear. The first time that I became pregnant, I couldn't wait to take the pregnancy test. I told myself that I was going to wait until my period was just a few days late. Well, that didn't work out. I got myself into such a frenzy one morning that I drove to the drugstore and came home with… [more]

I just can't seem to stay away from the New Zealand site, Miscarriage Support Aukland Inc. I have written about it before, in my post Miscarriage at Home. Again, here is the link, miscarriage support. In their grief section, they offer a lot of issues that are related to miscarriage. I hadn't seen such a comprehensive list as this and will reprint it here: the loss of the festivities of a joyous birth and perhaps future ones the loss of our dreams for this child and the future our family would have had together - we had made plans for life the loss of being able to call ourselves a mother (if no previous pregnancies) the loss of access to successful womanhood (in our own or others… [more]