Emotional Support

The time between an attempt at pregnancy (be that timed intercourse, an intra-uterine insemination, or an embryo transfer) and confirmation of the result of the attempt is commonly referred to as the two week wait. Generally speaking, it takes about two weeks before a pregnancy can be detected, even though the actual length of time can be slightly more or less time. Perhaps because we are utterly unable to do anything during this time that would bring us any closer to the desired result, this time of waiting is often dubbed “dreaded”. Speaking from personal experience, but also from noticing certain patterns among people struggling with infertility right along side me, a common theme among those waiting in their two-week wait seems to be one or more… [more]

For Mother's Day my husband and daughter treated me to a wonderful dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. My daughter who is six years old still needs to be reminded to use her utensils and not her fingers and to sit properly in her chair from time to time. In other words, she needs to be reminded to use her restaurant manners. So, upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we couldn't help but beam with pride when a woman at a neighboring table complimented my daughter for her excellent table manners and her behavior in general. Then it happened. Totally out of left field the woman asked if we were my daughter’s parents… [more]

Welcome to the new series of Fertility Blogs! As a Mom and a woman who had some of the most excruciating experiences with my infertility treatments, I can empathize and sympathize with every woman, man and family during these emotional times. A friend once asked me to describe myself, using one word, starting with the letter of the alphabet. This gave me 26 ways to describe myself and I felt compelled to accept the challenge; knowing it would be simple, right? I began to ask other friends, family and colleagues to use a word that best described me in their eyes. Some were hilarious, others poignant, and still some even stung. As a columnist, I began a series on life from A-Z and it… [more]

Before everyone starts thinking I'm a crazy endorphin loving hellion let you say this- my dog's name is Trouble. She is a four year old bulldog who snores like a busted chainsaw and I absolutely adore her. Women (or at least the crowd I hang around) have a natural, wonderful ability to nurture and love. We start as children with our dolls, grow up to be bossy, loving teens and eventually arrive at the day when we want to become a mother. There is something that just seems to click in the brain that says today is the day that you need to start trying to conceive and be a mother. As a child I would play with my dolls and tell my… [more]

The Southeast Chapter of RESOLVE is having it's first annual Family Building Conference on May 1st in Atlanta, Georgia (CLICK HERE for more information). Beyond being a spectacular idea - getting people together with experts to discuss issues surroung infertility - it is also very well named! The conference intends to "address the medical, emotional, social, financial and legal issues associated with infertility and adoption." There are also some awesome give-aways, including a chance at a free IVF cycle and a free donor egg cycle, but I digress (as I am apt to do when someone says the word free). What struck me the most about the informational email I received about the conference… [more]

Little things often remind me of how different people are. Infertility struggles can really emphasize the myriad of different ways that people cope, or approach situations and experiences. I, for example, am a very anxious person who worries about everything. That carried over into my infertility struggles as I literally obsessed about all of the implications and details. I strived to be able to realize that none of it was in my hands, but must admit that I pretty much failed in that effort. Instead, I tried to find out as much information as possible so I could try to tame my worry with knowledge about all that could go right or wrong and what I… [more]

Men and women really are different in their styles of communication. Nothing highlights that more than when a couple is facing infertility. All I want to do in moments of crisis or emotional havoc is hash it out with my husband. I want to discuss all of the pros and cons, find solutions and make a plan. On the otherhand, it seems that all he wants to do is find every way possible to avoid the elephant in the room. My husband is the master at avoiding difficult discussions, which was very obvious as more and more decisions had to be made in our journey to be parents. I think what drove… [more]

April 25 - May 2nd, 2009 is National Infertility Awareness Week. This week is dedicated to raising awareness about the disease of infertility that affects 7.3 million Americans. An organization that spearheads the movement to learn more about infertility and seek out support is RESOLVE. If you have not yet done so I encourage you to visit RESOLVE.org, http://www.fertilitycommunity.com/uni/frame.php?url=http://www.resolve.org/site/PageServer - a community for women and men with infertility that provides information, support and opportunities to take action. By visiting their site you can connect with support groups in your area, access a directory of services, tell your story, and find ways to get involved in efforts to combat infertility. When my husband and I were in a great… [more]

When you are struggling to conceive one of the things you long for the most is just to be normal. Nothing could make my jealousy peak more than when someone would tell of the fun and unique way they told their partner they were expecting. The innocence of a newly pregnant woman at only 8 weeks already planning her nursery and thinking about names would make me green with envy. The couple who talked about planning to have Johnny or Sally in the summer to coincide with vacation from teaching would literally make me want to scream. All of those reactions are very "normal" when you get pregnant easily, but when you stare at negative pregnancy tests month after… [more]

About four years ago my mother-in-law gave me a fertility doll that was supposed to give me good luck in efforts to conceive. Either I have unrealistic expectations on how fast that doll was supposed to work, or my particular fertility doll was faulty. Either way I don't think I can give credit to the doll for working four years later! The fertility "aid" got me thinking though, about the pressure from other people when we were having trouble conceiving, and my motivations behind so desperately wanting to have a baby. I sometimes had to take a step back and make sure that the main reason I wanted a child was for me and my husband, not to… [more]