The time between an attempt at pregnancy (be that timed intercourse, an intra-uterine insemination, or an embryo transfer) and confirmation of the result of the attempt is commonly referred to as the two week wait. Generally speaking, it takes about two weeks before a pregnancy can be detected, even though the actual length of time can be slightly more or less time. Perhaps because we are utterly unable to do anything during this time that would bring us any closer to the desired result, this time of waiting is often dubbed “dreaded”. Speaking from personal experience, but also from noticing certain patterns among people struggling with infertility right along side me, a common theme among those waiting in their two-week wait seems to be one or more… [more]
For Mother's Day my husband and daughter treated me to a wonderful dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. My daughter who is six years old still needs to be reminded to use her utensils and not her fingers and to sit properly in her chair from time to time. In other words, she needs to be reminded to use her restaurant manners. So, upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we couldn't help but beam with pride when a woman at a neighboring table complimented my daughter for her excellent table manners and her behavior in general. Then it happened. Totally out of left field the woman asked if we were my daughter’s parents… [more]
The Southeast Chapter of RESOLVE is having it's first annual Family Building Conference on May 1st in Atlanta, Georgia (CLICK HERE for more information). Beyond being a spectacular idea - getting people together with experts to discuss issues surroung infertility - it is also very well named! The conference intends to "address the medical, emotional, social, financial and legal issues associated with infertility and adoption." There are also some awesome give-aways, including a chance at a free IVF cycle and a free donor egg cycle, but I digress (as I am apt to do when someone says the word free). What struck me the most about the informational email I received about the conference… [more]
April 25 - May 2nd, 2009 is National Infertility Awareness Week. This week is dedicated to raising awareness about the disease of infertility that affects 7.3 million Americans. An organization that spearheads the movement to learn more about infertility and seek out support is RESOLVE. If you have not yet done so I encourage you to visit RESOLVE.org, http://www.fertilitycommunity.com/uni/frame.php?url=http://www.resolve.org/site/PageServer - a community for women and men with infertility that provides information, support and opportunities to take action. By visiting their site you can connect with support groups in your area, access a directory of services, tell your story, and find ways to get involved in efforts to combat infertility. When my husband and I were in a great… [more]
I am blessed with an amazing, wonderful husband. Despite the fact that he was supportive, and compassionate throughout our infertility journey, he is still a man and as such sometimes could just not understand why I felt or thought the way I did. A friend would announce their surprise pregnancy and I would break down in tears the minute I could get away. I would spend hours on the internet reading about the miracle of Robitussin or putting your feet in the air for thirty minutes and would be convinced that this is why it hadn't been working. At exactly 10 days past ovulation every single month I would start looking for signs and symptoms and… [more]
I have been talking about fertility support groups in these posts:
I am now going to focus on the challenges you might face in a fertility support group.
When our fertility support group first started, every member was in a lot of pain. The other members were trying to conceive month after month while I was waiting for the adoption agency to invite me to complete a home study for baby number 2. We were all in a place of loss and frustration at the lack of control we had over our lives.
Things changed when one member became pregnant after her first intrauterine insemination (IUI)
In my last post, Starting a Fertility Support Group, I talk about how I formed a fertility support group. Rather than dictate the structure of the support group, I asked the participants at the first meeting what they were looking for. I tailored the support group to meet their needs, and it was quite successful in helping them along their journeys to parenthood. They have thanked me many times over for starting this support group because it made their journeys a little bit easier.
Because this was a church-sponsored support group, I chose the book Infertility: A Survival Guide for Couples and Those Who Love Them by Cindy Lewis Dake to springboard discussion topics. (I will do a book review… [more]
When I was going through fertility procedures, I desperately wanted to talk with someone else who understood what I was going through, so I was thrilled when my doctor gave me a flyer about a support group that one of the nurses was organizing. I brought the flyer home and showed it to my husband, who was not at all interested in "sitting around talking about infertility issues." So, I decided to go alone to find the emotional support I needed.
The support group met at the doctor's office on a weeknight, and you could cut the tension with a knife. Most people came with their spouses, and they talked to nobody but each other. We ate some cookies and sat around… [more]
Yesterday I met with a group of girlfriends for a seminar in the early afternoon. The "seminar" was brought up by one of my friends who had just had a legal victory and she wanted to celebrate with her girlfriends, without the husbands and the kids. The rest of us were all there, ready to help. It took a bit of scheduling and a lot of emails back and forth but 5 of us met at a new pub that we had all been wanting to try. Conversation around the table was diverse. I had iced tea and 7 up and we all shared a large order of fries. As I thought about each of us who were there 3 of us had been touched by… [more]