Emotions

For Mother's Day my husband and daughter treated me to a wonderful dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. My daughter who is six years old still needs to be reminded to use her utensils and not her fingers and to sit properly in her chair from time to time. In other words, she needs to be reminded to use her restaurant manners. So, upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we couldn't help but beam with pride when a woman at a neighboring table complimented my daughter for her excellent table manners and her behavior in general. Then it happened. Totally out of left field the woman asked if we were my daughter’s parents… [more]

In most societies, it is assumed that girls will grow up and have babies. We, as girls are given dolls to play with, babysit, help with others' kids and are taught nurturing skills in preparation to become a Mom. Historically, women had children at a much younger age and had more children. As women entered the work force, the size of families steadily became smaller and women waited later to start their families. Awaiting - It is a word that describes a longing for something. And, with the decision to become a Mom, we are awaiting the moment that we know is coming; we will be pregnant and have a baby. It is natural. Awaiting, for the woman… [more]

Welcome back!  In my last entry, it was March of 2002, and I had just suffered my first miscarriage, after a year and a half of trying to get pregnant.  In early May, as we awaited the non-arrival of my period, I imagined a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend wherein we announced this pregnancy.  I was 10 days late and had never been late before, except when I had been briefly pregnant.  However, just to be sure, we were going to wait until Mother’s Day to take the test.  On Friday before Mother’s Day, however, the worst weekend of our lives began.  My husband’s beloved mother passed away.  It was a weekend filled with pain and loss.  To make things even worse, we… [more]

Welcome to the new series of Fertility Blogs! As a Mom and a woman who had some of the most excruciating experiences with my infertility treatments, I can empathize and sympathize with every woman, man and family during these emotional times. A friend once asked me to describe myself, using one word, starting with the letter of the alphabet. This gave me 26 ways to describe myself and I felt compelled to accept the challenge; knowing it would be simple, right? I began to ask other friends, family and colleagues to use a word that best described me in their eyes. Some were hilarious, others poignant, and still some even stung. As a columnist, I began a series on life from A-Z and it… [more]

Greetings, fellow adoption journeyers!  New blogger here.  My name is  Jamaica and I'm the lucky mom of 4 great kids who came to us through adoption...with another on the way!   Each one has a funny, unique story of their journey to becoming our son or daughter, and over the course of time, I invite you to learn about us and how we became a family.  But, first I will share with you how it all began, because many of you may now be where I was a decade ago. As a young woman, in my early 20s,  I took it for granted that I would marry and have children.  But the failure of my first marriage put an end to that...or at least… [more]

You start out hopeful and excited about starting a family. You can't wait until it is your turn to start buying cute bibs, flower dresses, and diapers by the hundreds. Then the joy begins to be delayed. This is when you start to worry, become sad, or even angry. I rationalized with myself that the sad and frantic feelings would only be temporary and that in a few months time they'd be over. I only felt that way because I was convinced that I'd be pregnant in less than six months. It seemed like I would go through stages of emotions during my infertility treatments. I'd be happy and hopeful that THIS was going to be THE month that I was going… [more]

When dealing with infertility the two people you want to be up front and honest with are your spouse and your doctor. Besides your religious faith, there is nothing that can help you get pregnant. Now let me confess another no-no, I lied to my doctor when we started our infertility process. It seems obvious, but I'm going to say this- do not lie to your doctor. Swallow your pride, check your shame at the door, and open up. I was scared to tell the doctor the truth. I know that a doctor is a medical professional who has dedicated their life to helping others, but I was afraid he'd judge me. It's stupid but I was afraid he'd go home and… [more]

I originally sat down to type out a blog post about abnormal symptoms after giving birth and how they can lead to secondary infertility. When I started doing some basic research (Google and Wikipedia) I was shocked to find nothing. I could find a lot of websites that discussed the post partum phase but none talked about when to be concerned, expect in regards to depression. Some websites had people who talked about how they experienced a certain side effect for a few weeks and then another person would discuss how they dealt with it for a few months. Which one was normal? Would the woman who had night sweats, excessive bleeding, or nipple engorgement for months end up later having… [more]

I'm not a negative person, or so I like to tell myself. Sadly, I am one of those people who tend to internalize everything and somehow find fault in most of what I do. This is one of the reasons infertility was such a struggle for me. Let me start by explaining a little about myself. I belong to a religious group that strongly believes in, and values, the family. (I obviously feel this way or I wouldn't have joined this church when I was 16.) I am what some would call a conservative feminist. By this I mean I believe that a woman has the right to choose for herself what to make of her life. For me, I choose to have children… [more]

The Southeast Chapter of RESOLVE is having it's first annual Family Building Conference on May 1st in Atlanta, Georgia (CLICK HERE for more information). Beyond being a spectacular idea - getting people together with experts to discuss issues surroung infertility - it is also very well named! The conference intends to "address the medical, emotional, social, financial and legal issues associated with infertility and adoption." There are also some awesome give-aways, including a chance at a free IVF cycle and a free donor egg cycle, but I digress (as I am apt to do when someone says the word free). What struck me the most about the informational email I received about the conference… [more]