Going into this frozen embryo transfer, I thought I had it all figured out. Since our last failed attempt nearly a year ago, we went on hold to try to align our plans with the will of God. Coming out of the hold period, I felt totally peaceful about this year; 2013 would either be the year that we finally became parents, or it would be the year that we would finally embrace our original family of two, created on our wedding day. I was ready to be done with this infertility roller coaster one way or another, and I could honestly see the benefits to either resolution. Then we transferred our two embryos last week. Subconsciously, I instantly realized how much I want this to work… [more]
What if we never have children? Until recently, I never entertained this possibility. I saw infertility as a struggle that needed to be won. To stop pursuing parenthood once we made up our minds that it was something we wanted was to give up. I couldn’t envision a life where we would be happy in spite of not having children. And yet, that’s where I am right now: content right where God has me. After over 4 years of pursuing domestic newborn adoption, foster care adoption, international adoption, a failed attempt at a natural cycle IVF with TESE-extracted sperm (which we didn’t find), and two failed frozen embryo transfers with adopted embryos, I finally joined my husband in a place of tranquil acceptance. No, we’re not done trying to become parents… [more]
For Mother's Day my husband and daughter treated me to a wonderful dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. My daughter who is six years old still needs to be reminded to use her utensils and not her fingers and to sit properly in her chair from time to time. In other words, she needs to be reminded to use her restaurant manners. So, upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we couldn't help but beam with pride when a woman at a neighboring table complimented my daughter for her excellent table manners and her behavior in general. Then it happened. Totally out of left field the woman asked if we were my daughter’s parents… [more]
In most societies, it is assumed that girls will grow up and have babies. We, as girls are given dolls to play with, babysit, help with others' kids and are taught nurturing skills in preparation to become a Mom. Historically, women had children at a much younger age and had more children. As women entered the work force, the size of families steadily became smaller and women waited later to start their families. Awaiting - It is a word that describes a longing for something. And, with the decision to become a Mom, we are awaiting the moment that we know is coming; we will be pregnant and have a baby. It is natural. Awaiting, for the woman… [more]
When it comes to large choices in life it is best to plan ahead. The best plan of action, at least for me, is to pick a start date, some milestone goal dates, and then finally an end date. When we started out with our infertility treatments I naively chose an end date of being pregnant only three months after my start date. I thought the doctor would know what to do, I'd do it, and wham-bam-thank you ma'am I'd be pregnant. When my "end date" came and went rather quickly with no pregnancy I had to reevaluate my game plan. My husband and I started discussing what treatments we'd be willing to do, what we could afford, and how long we… [more]
I was very reluctant to stop taking my Progesterone In Oil (or PIO) shots and move on to the Crinone 8% vaginal progesterone gel. When I begged my doctor to let me stay on the shots (crazy I know) he told me that I would love the gel - that it would be so much easier, a lot less painful, and would work just the same. Crinone 8% is most commonly used by women undergoing fertility treatments to provide progesterone to change the lining of the uterus to aid in implantation and then to sustain a pregnancy. I did not begin to take Crinone until after I was done with the PIO shots and continued to take it through 12… [more]
In a previous post I talked about our annual girls' trip and my friend who is struggling to conceive. Her particular situation hits so close to home because she has endured the same questions from the same friends, is dealing with eerily similar issues such as fibroids and polyps, and like me, seems to be truly content with the decision to pursue adoption. One thing that she did say that made a lot of sense to me, but that I had never thought about is that she really, really regrets not attempting IVF right when it was recommended as essentially her only option by her RE. Her initial consultation with her doctor took place over a year ago. She was finally… [more]
When you are struggling to conceive one of the things you long for the most is just to be normal. Nothing could make my jealousy peak more than when someone would tell of the fun and unique way they told their partner they were expecting. The innocence of a newly pregnant woman at only 8 weeks already planning her nursery and thinking about names would make me green with envy. The couple who talked about planning to have Johnny or Sally in the summer to coincide with vacation from teaching would literally make me want to scream. All of those reactions are very "normal" when you get pregnant easily, but when you stare at negative pregnancy tests month after… [more]
I have never been particularly fond of Tom Cruise, although I do like some of his movies. I have always liked Nicole Kidman. So, of course I was on "her side" when they split, but that is neither here nor there.
As many of you likely know, Tom and Nicole adopted a couple of kids together. While I do not believe they ever made a big deal about it publicly, speculation has always been that they were infertile together. However, Tom got Katie Holmes pregnant, and now Nicole is pregnant by her husband, Keith Urban. According to the article in Women's Day, Nicole conceived after months of fertility treatments.
I find it interesting when a couple is unable to conceive a baby together but both… [more]
When I was going through fertility treatments, my doctor gave me pamphlet about how infertility is resolved. The pamphlet said that when I ended treatment, it would be in one of three ways:
For me, number 2 was never an option, but for many infertile couples, it is. I have met several older couples who are wonderful with children and who would have made great parents. I often learn that the couple was never able to conceive and, therefore, have lived a childfree life.
Some of these people find other ways to meet their need to parent. They might work in a school… [more]