Secondary Infertility

It seems to me that a certain phenomena exists among those struggling with fertility that involves a "competition" of sorts among those having trouble conceiving. Those who are "just" trying clomid or similar medications to induce ovulation don't know true suffering. If you are successful with IUI or injectibles you haven't really had to endure the hard stuff. If one IVF cycle works you can't imagine the pain of multiple failed cycles. If you use donor eggs or donor sperm you are in a club of your own and so on. Same thing goes for age - if you are 24 and proclaim that you have been trying for sooo long, it is really hard for someone… [more]

According to RESOLVE, A National Infertility Association that is an excellent resource and support outlet, over three million Americans are affected by secondary infertility and in fact it has "a higher prevalence rate than primary infertility." Secondary infertility came onto my radar after I learned that a friend with a seven year-old child was struggling to conceive and had been trying for a sibling for her daughter for several years. I had never really given much thought to this very common problem, and if I am being honest was probably more often in the camp of "they should be happy they have a child." As I talked more and more to the friend suffering through Secondary Infertility I realized just… [more]

In this era of "octomoms" and families of 8 or 18 it is easy to understand how people can have misconceptions about infertility and its treatment. As I was searching for information and statistics regarding multiple births and fertility treatment (out of pure curiosity), I realized that there are A LOT of myths and misunderstandings when it comes to reproductive challenges and assistance. I, like a lot of other people, don't always know the difference between truth and fiction when it comes to infertility and so I thought I would use this blog as a forum to address some of those myths and try to find the truths. Probably one of the most prevalent general ideas about IVF… [more]

Today a friend of mine who has struggled with secondary infertility for six years gave birth to a healthy baby boy! The event prompted me to think back on our many conversations about trying to conceive and how afraid and scared we were to try IVF. My overwhelming wish throughout that time was to just finally get pregnant naturally and not have to "pull the trigger" and try in-vitro. As I remembered these thoughts and feelings I was shocked at the realization that now that I look back at my fertility journey I am actually glad that we moved on to IVF. That is definitely not something that I ever thought I would say… [more]

Women who have never been able to conceive a baby or carry a baby to term have what is known as primary infertility. Women who have had one or more successful pregnancies but are later unable to conceive or carry a baby to term have secondary infertility. Both women suffer an enormous amount of pain, but, in some circles, women who struggle with secondary infertility are left out in the cold.

I wrote a post about Secondary Infertility in mid-August, and a reader left this comment:

When I was looking to start a fertility support group, a friend told a friend about it. Even though this woman was distraught over her infertility and definitely needed support, she declined to join our group because she already had a biological child. She suffered from a condition known as secondary infertility, which means that she was able to conceive a child but then later was unable to conceive again.

The woman believed that she did not deserve the same support as the other women in the group because she already had a child. Even though I also already had a child (through adoption), she saw this as different because I was still struggling with primary infertility (unable to conceive… [more]

When Infertility Strikes After You are a Mom from the Chicago Sun-Times Reading part of this article, I was surprised that the doctor interviewed was so blunt about age and fertility. I know that in my experience, my gp was very laid back about my questions about infertility. At the time I was in my early 30s, and very informed about the rates of fertility, but her and my midwife were very unconcerned. Which, at times, I wonder is a good thing or a bad thing. Here is the section that got me thinking: FREDERICK, LICCIARDI, MD: Most people who have a child and then can't get pregnant the second time probably suffer from unexplained infertility. That means everything is working just fine, the tubes are normal, the uterus… [more]

Without impinging on my son's privacy toooooo much, I thought I'd finally fill in the back-story of how I've ended up here, fortysomething and thinking of adding to the family, by biology or adoption. I already had my son late, by the "usual" standards, and I was ancient by Korean standards. All I heard was "advanced maternal age" etc., etc., as everyone was bugging me to have an amnio (which I declined). Our son is wonderful. He started having grave medical problems at eighteen months. In the stress, it was hard to function. We weren't specifically trying to get pregnant again, but a few times we did, but I miscarried right away. Our son is almost grade school… [more]

It's amazing what a decade or two of life experience can do to widen one's outlook— One of my first jobs out of college was working at an investment bank in New York as a junior analyst. I was 25, very into the fast-track ambitious yuppie thing, and I looked at people with kids as a sort of alien species. I remember there was a woman in the typing pool who became pregnant. Everyone was really happy for her—it was her second marriage, first child, I remember thinking she was ancient (probably in her thirties)—except for one of the senior analysts, who basically flipped out. We all depended quite highly on the ladies in the typing pool and therefore made sure to take them out to lunch… [more]