After my surgeries for my miscarriages, I lived in my robe. It is so ratty and old and falling apart that you wouldn't believe that it survives the wash like it does. I have had this robe for years, at least a decade, maybe even two! It is blue and white striped cotton, lined with white terry cloth.

It was a Christmas gift from my Nana. It has seen me through finals, marriages, divorce, recoveries, pregnancies, breast feeding, and countless nights of pacing the floor with various worries. It has become my second skin.

Last year it began falling apart and I began negotiations with a client about turning it into a blanket, pillow case, or something like that to rescue it from it's current state of beyond repair. It reminds me of the velveteen rabbit. The inner ties are intact. The lining is sparse, threadbare. The sash holders have both been ripped off and instead of the sash, I use a safety pin. It was ready to be put to pasture.

Then my dad got sick. Too much change, not enough time and a need for the familiar kept all plans for deconstruction of my robe at bay. Every night I would pull on the comfort of the tried and true. Then I would fasten the safety pin against cancer and pin in the love I felt for my family. It was my armor of peace.

Yesterday, I was shopping for a new shirt to wear to Ivy's birthday party this weekend. I went to the intimates aisle and saw a striped blue robe that was amazingly soft and plush. Even more so than mine ever was. I don't even think that they had this type of fabric technology when my original robe was made. I thought about it and left it behind. Not ready to make the switch.

Last night and today I couldn't wait until I got a chance to buy the new robe. I was hoping that it was still there, in my size. I kept remembering how soft it was and how much it looks like my old robe. It was time to make the switch.

Tonight my kids can't stop touching me. There is nothing uncommon about this, except they are touching the robe. Ivy keeps rubbing my back, Bec keeps eating the hem. After my bath, I couldn't wait to put it on.

My old robe is now on the hook, resting in the interim until I need a back up, which will be often with how filthy I get surrounded by these kids.