“Miscarriage is so mysterious that it makes you feel completely out of control,” she said. “I needed to feel like I was doing something to help myself.”
Stephenson referred Anderson to a psychiatrist who specializes in “frequent loss.” The psychiatrist recommended that she start antidepressants. “I said this is the issue: I don’t want to be on any more drugs,” she replied. “I just wanted someone to tell me, It’s OK to be sad.” p. 102-103
I also went to counseling after my miscarriages as I have during many traumas during my adult life. One of the most helpful traits that my therapist has is first of all, a history with me. Secondly, she had also experienced miscarriages. While researching therapists, I had thought that maybe I should try someone new. Someone who specialized in pregnancy loss. I called the one listing in our local yellow pages for a therapist who listed pregnancy loss as one of her specialities. When I called to set up an appointment with her I discovered that she had had training in pregnancy loss, but had not lost a pregnancy herself. I cancelled the appointment the next day and returned to my original therapist. During our session, she revealed that she had miscarried before also and I knew that once again, it was in her office that I needed to be.
Prescription interventions were also used by me to help with my healing process. I requested tranquilizers when no one had offered them. I refilled my antidepressant prescription that I had stopped taking while trying to get pregnant. I wanted to heal psychologically as gently on myself as possible. Talk therapy and meds were my time to feel in control of my own healing and in control of my own decisions regarding what was introduced into my body. I couldn’t imagine going it alone during my grieving.
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