When we first decided to grow our family, we both assumed that this would happen just like most other families. We would conceive a baby who looked like us.
Neither of us ever imagined that infertility would happen to us. We had no family history of infertility from either side, and we were both young and healthy. Even our doctors told us that there was no medical reason why we could not achieve a pregnancy. Yet, despite all of these factors, we remained childless.
One day at Dr. M’s office, I picked up a brochure about resolving infertility. The brochure pointed out that you cannot continue with fertility treatments forever. At some point, you will stop, and the infertility will be resolved in one of three ways:
- You will become pregnant and give birth to a baby.
- You will lead a childfree life.
- You will adopt or foster a child.
Option #1 was looking less and less likely. Option #2 was simply not an option for me.
My husband was actually willing to consider option #2, saying that I was enough for him. As much as it hurt him to hear it, it was not enough for me. Yes, I loved him dearly, but he was not a child, and I wanted to nurture a child. I had this wonderful nest waiting for my baby but no baby to fill that nest.
So, what about option #3? I had always been interested in adoption, ever since I saw the Walt Disney Movie Pete’s Dragon when I was a little girl. I was touched by how Pete needed a mom and Nora needed a child, and they met those needs by coming together as a family. I knew that I could love a child that I did not carry in my body; however, my husband was not so sure.
I agreed to continue trying to conceive, but I was ready to start looking into adoption. We agreed to try both routes for the time being, and my husband felt the pressure to “get me pregnant” as soon as possible before we went the route of adopting a “stranger’s child.”
Meanwhile, I started to feel the flickers of hope. There were no guarantees in infertility, but adoption meant that I would know that a baby was coming. Maybe adoption was the answer.
Related Topics:
- Making the Decision to Adopt
- When to stop trying to conceive
- Top 10 List of What You Need to Know about Infertility
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