FertilityCommunity.com has an interesting article about whether there is a link between childhood abuse and infertility. As an infertile woman who was abused as a child, the article Unspeakable Realities Entwined: Child Abuse & Infertility jumped out at me.

Let me start by saying that I found it both sad that others have known both pains as well as comforting to know that I am not alone in experiencing both. I have often wondered how much impact the abuse had on my inability to conceive. However, my sister endured the same abuses, and she was able to conceive and give birth to two healthy babies, so I am not sure why my body reacted differently than hers did. Regardless of why, that is my reality.

The article starts with asking if someone who is infertile would be more prone to abuse her child. Frankly, I find that to be a ridiculous question. Why would someone who spent years crying and yearning to parent a child start smacking him around as if he had no worth? The article very quickly reaches the same conclusion, stating that there is no correlation between being infertile and being abusive. Instead, it notes a link between being the victim of childhood abuse and being infertile.

Next, the article moves on to the part that interests me: Is there a link between being abused as a child and experiencing infertility as an adult? The article states that -

No firm, scientifically-drawn conclusions are readily available to the initial questions about causal relationships or even incidence of child abuse and adult infertility.- Unspeakable Realities Entwined: Child Abuse & Infertility

However, the author then interviews a social worker named Patricia Hunt, who sees a connection. Ms. Hunt works with a set of clientele who have experienced both childhood sexual abuse and infertility. She points out that -

overlap of the infertility and sexual abuse survivor communities is inevitable, given that one in four females and one in six males have reported being sexually abused prior to age eighteen.

Ms. Hunt talks about how a history of childhood sexual abuse affects a person going through infertility and points out -

And because sexuality and reproduction are so closely intertwined, it is difficult for both men and women to separate their feelings about being sexually assaulted from their body not co-operating when they want to have a child.

If you are an abuse survivor, particularly a survivor of sexual abuse, I strongly suggest that you read this article. The article sums up all that I would like to convey nicely:

Sexual abuse survivors most likely experience more feelings of being "bad, abnormal, or damaged" when fertility becomes an issue. Hunt says that the message which needs to be conveyed to this group is not only that they are not alone with their struggles, but that they are not to blame.

As a fellow survivor of sexual abuse, I have been there. I know how hard it is to go through infertility after abuse. Was my childhood abuse a factor in my infertility? I will never know the answer to that question. What I do know is that it is possible to learn to love your body despite the abuse and infertility.

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