I read a snippet from an article that stated that the writer was dreading the sitting at the Thanksgiving table and fielding questions from relatives. Can’t we all relate? It seems that in one instant, you are living your adult life, and then, with a probing question, you are back in middle school. Expected to tell a relative who may be just one step up from a stranger, the way that your life is heading. And then to add in infertility, it just gets weirder. And worse.
During these times, the way that I would cope for the most part was avoidance. It worked well. In the midst of company, I would stick very close to my sister, Chris, or my nephews and niece. To this day, I try to get a seat at the children’s table, just because there is more space, and I need elbow room when I eat, and because the topics are very current and fun as well. No heavy, expectation loaded questions being sent my way. We normally just talk of the food and sports. Surrounding myself with others, helped me out of getting cornered.
The next thing that I would do would be to really limit my time at the certain gathering that I was dreading. Luckily, my sister is very accomodating and kind, and would stake out the get together before I arrived. She would then call me about the time that dinner was going to be served as it seems like it is always late. Thankfully we all live locally, within 10 minutes of each other and I could waltz in as food was being put on the table. I could then judge how long I would stay, and living so close, would at times, leave for a breather, and then come back.
Of course, these tips may not work well for everyone. But this is how I coped with Thanksgiving during those years of yearning.
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November 21st, 2006 at 8:45 pm
I always try to get caught up with the kids at these functions, too – way better than dealing with the grown-ups!