In my last post, Fertility Challenges: Relatives at Holiday Gatherings, I talked about the struggles involved in getting together with relatives during the holidays while you are going through fertility challenges. In this post, I will focus on the similar struggles involved when attending holiday parties with friends.
As with getting together with relatives who know about your fertility challenges, friends can also cross the line of inquiring about the status of your fertility treatments. While close friends are likely to know the details already, acquaintances might find the topic of fertility procedures fascinating and encourage you to talk about it at the party. Of course, a holiday party is where you hope to forget about your fertility issues for a few hours, not discuss them for hours on end.
Even worse, in most circles of friends, there is at least one “town crier” who builds her self-worth by knowing all of the details of everyone else’s life. This person is sure to pump you for information about your fertility woes so that she can spread the information to anyone who will listen. While your situation is just a juicy tidbit of gossip to her, it is a very painful and personal issue for you. You do not have to allow other people to use your life as their entertainment.
As with dealing with relatives, setting firm boundaries is the key to surviving holiday parties with friends while you are struggling with your fertility. You are entitled to privacy about your medical issues, and you need not feel guilty for insisting that people change the subject. Use your words, tone, and body language to communicate that the topic of your fertility is off limits.
Be sure to watch how much alcohol you ingest at a holiday party with friends. While it might be tempting to lose yourself in the alcohol for the night, you will be much more likely to share more information than you intend if you imbibe heavily.
Give yourself permission to leave early if you are not having a good time. Now is the time to nurture yourself. The holidays are rough for people who are struggling with their fertility, so look after your own needs as best as you can.
Related Topics:
Challenges: Christmas category
Photo credit: Faith Allen
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