Shopping during the holidays is tough when you are struggling with your fertility. Stores are filled with all sorts of cute toys and clothing for children. You see children lining up to talk to Santa at most malls while songs like All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth play over the speakers. So much about this time of year centers around children, and this is very hard for people who long for a child of their own.
If you have nieces and nephews, you are thrown right into the midst of the places you want to avoid, such as toy stores. No matter how much you try to focus on the joy of your niece or nephew’s face, you cannot help but think about how badly you want to be purchasing a toy for your own child.
Going to toy stores during the holidays is the worst because you are reminded how many people are fortunate enough to have children while you are not. Even worse, you see parents who do nothing but snap at their children the whole time, and it breaks your heart to think that they were able to become parents while you were not. No matter how you slice it, holiday shopping while you are infertile is the pits.
My advice is to do most of your holiday shopping on-line. While on-line shopping does not provide the same holiday spirit as visiting different stores, it spares you from having to face a bunch of families while you are feeling miserable because you do not have a child of your own. Also, on-line shopping is much faster, so you do not have to spend as much time feeling miserable about the reminder that you are not yet a parent. Avoiding stores also means avoiding different products that remind you of your pain, such as baby cribs or clothing.
Be gentle with yourself during this time of year, and try to remember that you are not the only person feeling pain. Many others are hurting as well, particularly those who have lost a loved one during the year. It is okay for you to grieve during this time of year. In fact, it is healthy to acknowledge your pain and express it.
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Challenges: Christmas category
Photo credit: Faith Allen
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