If you have informed anyone in your extended family about your fertility issues, then chances are that word has spread throughout your family. This can make holiday gatherings particularly difficult as you face relatives who have questions about your fertility status.

For some reason, many relatives believe it is okay to ask very personal questions because "we are family," so holiday gatherings with relatives often involve inquisitions. Relatives want to know if you are pregnant yet (Don't you think we would have announced the happy news?), how long you have been trying to conceive (Is "forever" a good enough answer?), and what steps you have taken to try to become pregnant (Does Uncle Ralph really need that visual?). Many relatives seem to have no concept of privacy or boundaries. Because you are blood-related, they view your personal life as a free-for-all.

Before you attend any holiday gathering with your relatives, you need to set very firm boundaries. Decide what information you are willing to share and what needs to remain private. Then, enforce those boundaries very firmly.

Rehearse how you will respond to nosy questions. Practice saying, "I would rather not talk about this right now," or whatever retort you decide upon. The words are just a small part of enforcing your boundaries, though. You need to back up those words with your voice, tone, and body language. All of these cues need to present a united message that the topic of your fertility is off limits.

Also, remember that it takes two people to have a conversation. The conversation is not going to get very far if you walk out the door. Remember that physically removing yourself from a conversation is always an option and a definitive way to end a conversation.

Some people have trouble setting boundaries, especially around family members. Reassure yourself that you have every right to keep this aspect of your life private. (This is your sex life you are discussing, and that is nobody else's business.)

Also, plan to cut the evening short if you need to. It is normal for you to tear up during the holidays, especially if you have a bunch of children running around at the party. It is okay to make an appearance and then return to the sanctity of your home.

Related Topics:

Challenges: Christmas category

Photo credit: Faith Allen