When it comes to fertility issues, many couples are very secretive about their struggles. They will endure the endless "When you are going to start a family?" questions with a stiff upper lip, never letting on how painful those questions really are.

I was never secretive about my desire to start a family, so I have a hard time understanding the secrecy. Don't get me wrong: There were times when I regretted being so public about it. When I just found out that another cycle failed to produce the baby I so desperately wanted, the last thing I wanted to deal with was multiple people asking for a fertility update. However, I really appreciated being able to fall apart in my coworker's cubicle when I got bad news without having to explain why I was crying. The support helped me to feel less alone.

I notice a big difference in comments on this blog versus my Hoping to Adopt blog. Both blogs are written for people who desperately want to become parents and, for reasons outside of their control, are forced to wait . . . and wait . . . and wait to hold a child in their arms.

Both blogs are written for people who are in emotional pain. Yet, the response I get from readers is very different. On the Hoping to Adopt blog, I average one or two comments per post. I might have a few with no comments, but then I will have another with several. I have not received a comment on this blog since mid-August.

I do not take the lack of comments personally. I know that people are reading this blog because my editor lets me know the number of page views this blog receives each month. I just find it curious that I receive so few comments here while I receive so many on the Hoping to Adopt blog, even though both blogs are written for people who want to be parents.

I strongly suspect the reason for the difference is the privacy that surrounds fertility. It is much more personal to talk about our reproductive organs than it is to talk about filling out an adoption application. Even though you can choose an anonymous name to post, I suspect that many of you would still feel too "exposed" by selecting an anonymous name and posting a comment.

So, I respect the need for privacy, even though I, personally, chose a different route. Like I said, there were days that I wished I had kept the whole thing to myself. However, if I had to do it again, I still would have shared my situation with my closest friends. I could not have made it through that time in my life without them.

Related Topic:

• Privacy During Fertility Treatments
• Infertility: Feeling Different
• Fertility & the Dreaded Question: "Do You Have Children?"

Photo credit: Rosanne Mooney