When I was going through fertility treatments, my doctor gave me a pamphlet that talked about the "infertility roller coaster." Boy does that analogy apply. There were so many ups and downs each month, with the "ups" of hope and the "downs" of grief. I would sometimes feel like I was going crazy and that the roller coaster would never end.

There was definitely a pattern to the ups and downs. Being aware of the pattern can help you navigate the rough waters of fertility treatments. When you know what is coming, then you are better able to prepare yourself for what is ahead. It is so important to take care of your emotional needs as you trudge through fertility treatments.

Every month begins with "Day Zero," which is the day that you get your period. On-line fertility communities have adopted a much funnier way to refer to getting your period by calling it a visit from "Aunt Flo" (or AF). Get it? (The first time I saw this reference, I wondered what Flo from the TV show "Alice" had to do with anything. Whoops! Did I just "date" myself??)

The day you get your visit from AF, you know that you did not succeed in conceiving last month. Of course, this is quite disappointing (to say the least) and can even feel devastating. And yet, AF kicks off Day 1 of your next cycle of trying to conceive, which sets into motion everything you will do over the next month to become pregnant. So, a part of yourself feels the need to grieve while another part of yourself is already planning out your next month.

Day Zero, or AF day, is a tough day no matter how you look at it. It is the end of a hope and a dream, so it is a day for grieving. However, it is also a day of beginning a new hope and kicking off the next round of trying to conceive. It can be difficult to juggle the emotions associated with both ends of the spectrum at the same time.

My advice on AF day is to be kind to yourself. Nurture yourself as best you can and allow yourself to grieve as you feel the need. Honor your pain before shoving it aside to build up hope for the following month.

Related Topics:

• How to Stay Sane While Going Through Infertility
• Keeping Your Emotional Footing through Infertility
• Loving My Body in Spite of Infertility

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