When hub and I were going through fertility treatments, the holidays always seemed to bring with them an added level of stress. We were doing intrauterine inseminations (IUIs), so we (obviously) needed a doctor involved in order to complete the procedure. One year, my ovulation period fell right on top of Christmas, so my doctor told me to take the month off of trying to conceive, but we could still try to become pregnant conventionally. Of course, all I could think was, “Thanks a yahoo.” It was not like trying conventionally had accomplished anything in the past 18 months.
The following Christmas, I chose to take the month off over my husband’s objections. By this point, we had been trying to conceive for 2-1/2 years. I had been taking Clomid and Progesterone for months, and my body was worn out. I was reaching the place of wanting to throw in the towel and adopt a child instead. Meanwhile, hub was finally starting to acknowledge that we had a problem and pin his hopes on the doctors making it all better. I also think he was wanting to avoid the five-figure adoption cost.
For 2-1/2 years, I had lived on the infertility roller coaster, first getting my hopes up and then having them come crashing down all around me. I needed a break. I did not want another holiday ruined by my inability to conceive. It felt good to take back control over my life for one month. It felt good to choose not to try to conceive for one month. I did not even want to try conventionally. For one month, I wanted sex to be about making love rather than good clinical timing.
Hub had a hard time understanding my need to take a month off from fertility treatments. His attitude was that we needed to keep trying until we succeeded. However, it was not his body that was enduring the pain and side effects. His part of the process took very little time and involved no pain. Meanwhile, I was going through migraines, hot flashes, shots, and inseminations on a monthly basis. I played the “it’s my body” card, and we took the month off.
Going through fertility treatments during the holidays is tough. Sometimes taking a month off is the best gift you can give yourself.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
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