I’m in a waiting game with myself this week. Kind of dealing with my grief in all areas again as my dad’s birthday is on Wednesday and it is hitting me pretty hard. I know that this will take an upward swing again, but waiting for the upward pull while experiencing the downward pull is slow going. I decided to look into ways to help with the wait and came across this page of adivice from Resolve. Although I’m not waiting for results from IVF, the suggestions sound pretty wise to me.
Emotional Coping Strategies
Limit the number of people you tell about your cycle and let them know how you will share the outcome of the cycle. Some couples tell their family and friends, “No news is bad news,” to eliminate the need to call them with bad news.
Decide in advance how you will handle questions from those you have told. Sometimes it helps to rehearse your responses.Decide with your partner how you want to receive the news about the cycle. For example, if you are having a blood test to determine if you are pregnant, decide where and to whom the results should be given. Some women want their husband’s to give them the news, whether it is good or bad, versus hearing a message on the answering machine.
Set time aside to talk with your partner about your feelings.
Tell your partner what you will need if the news is not positive. Do you want to be distracted and go out to eat or to a movie, or do you want to be left alone? Do you want to talk about the next steps in treatment or options, or wait a few days? Give your partner specifics on this- he can’t read your mind.
Treat yourself by spending time doing the things you enjoy the most: preparing a wonderful meal, taking long walks or curling up and reading a good book.
Protect yourself emotionally. For example, don’t plan on going to a dinner party given by a pregnant friend the day you expect to get your pregnancy test results.
Take slow, deep breaths when you are feeling anxious. This basic technique can assist you physiologically, as well as being mentally calming.
Try reframing your thoughts. This is very helpful when you are experiencing negative thoughts or if your thoughts are driving you crazy by alternating between thinking you are or aren’t pregnant. For example, the thought “The test will be negative and I’ll never be pregnant,” may end up as “I am open to the possibility of being pregnant and I’m doing everything I can to make that happen.”
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