Tomorrow I am foreseeing a sticky and uncomfortable evening with an in-law. This is nothing new and is actually the norm for the past 5 years. With some new developments within the last month though, I'm not really sure how things are going to play out.

I've decided to try out some of the coping strategies that I've been posting lately. Here is what I've been doing or what I will do:

Limit your participation in family celebrations. In years past, this coming up function would have required Herculean stamina as a short 2-3 hour visit would have been "rude" so we would stay at least 5 hours, including driving time would make it 6. Now, we will head out around the scheduled time if both kids have napped, and will leave before their bed time before 8. Adding in drive time, we will be there for only a little over 2 hours, possibly 3.

Give yourself protective space. The car drive there and back will be sacred space with my husband and kids if they are in a cooperative mode. I am also planning on trying to get to a church service by myself to enjoy the quiet of the season.

Consider some degree of openness about your infertility Although we aren't dealing with infertility at this holiday, we are having family issues. Prior to this event, a lot of feelings and issues have been aired within the past 2 weeks. It is much more clear this year as opposed to the "secrecy/denial" era of years past.

Set personal boundaries. This hasn't been a problem for me, but it has been for my husband. Seeing the difference that it has made has been amazing. Watching him set up his own lines in the sand have been very rewarding to see and unparalleled to experience the rewards of.

Create new and personal rituals. Our Thanksgiving breakfast as a family of four (only us) was such a success, that we are doing it again tomorrow. After the kids wake up on their own, we are heading out to a family restaurant to have a Christmas breakfast celebration of our own.

Do something nice for someone else. It has been a devastating week for a girlfriend of mine. I have been able to comfort her in ways that have helped us both. It has helped to keep my perspective.

Use communication and empathy Again, this has been happening in the weeks prior to this event. Chris and my sister-in-law are on board and aware of situations that they are looking out for me for. We have safety nets in place and made up scenarios role played out. I'm ready and prepared to have a functional(?) get together tomorrow evening.

Wish me luck! And I wish it back to you! Merry Christmas Eve Eve!