As I had written before, I knew that this week was going to be a difficult one because of my dad's birthday on Wednesday. Here are some of the ways that I've coped with the mourning that surrounded the day:

• I gave Chris and the kids and my clients and friends a heads up about what the week would be like for me. Knowing in advance that I was going to be sad and somewhat unpredictable and unavailable, I knew that Chris would need a concrete reminder that things might be a little to a lot off. I left him the same sticky note on his keys every morning that said, "Family, Please remember that this is a tough week for me. Please be gentle. Love, Me" I know that he has a ton on his mind with the new job and weird hours, so I knew that expecting him to remember my dad's bday would be too much of an expectation which could lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. The post it said it all for me, with out putting him on the spot.
• Leading up to Wednesday, I was gentle with myself, scheduling time off, making sure that I had my favorite magazines around. Calling my friends like TLC just to talk. She is great about calling and checking in, not requiring a conversation or even a call back, she lets me know that she is thinking of me and that she is there when I need her. I also had lots of bath oils and journaling/art supplies on hand in case some inspiration struck.
• I found myself keeping up my personal blog more than usual, venting and raging against the injustice of cancer, the selfishness of others involved in my dad's estate. I let myself feel it all. Smiling at remembering how my dad would drink "graveyards" (gross) crying when I remembered his last hours, being angry that I was in this situation and dreading that this is just the beginning. The holidays are just around the corner.

Continuing tomorrow...