In/Fertile Friends ~ Part 2

October 17th, 2006
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I have been lucky or unlucky enough (you can think of it either way) to have experienced both sides of this coin. The woman that I am writing about today is not the same woman as yesterday. Yesterday I reprinted the first part of my letter, and now here is the second. Thank you so much to you know who you are for writing to me. Everyone seems to really get into this topic and has much to share.

Now, on the flip side. While I was pregnant with my daughter, one of my
> best friends lost her son. Our due dates were close as well, only a couple of weeks apart. Again, it
> was very uncomfortable. First off, no one wanted to tell me, due to my
> history of lost pregnancies. They ended up calling my husband at work, so
> he could tell me at home, which was thoughtful. Her loss brought up all

> of the emotion of my losses and I dealt with them again. Once more,
> honesty saved us both. One of the most helpful things that we said to
> each other was, “I don’t know what to say.” For the duration of my
> pregnancy I was very careful to include her in every step, yet very
> careful to let her know whatever she felt was fine. It is funny, because
> her and my daughter are very close now. She was one of the first people
> to hold her, also one of the first people to babysit when I was ready.
>
> So this is what came off of the top of my head. I will also do some
> research and see what else is out there. If you don’t mind, I will also
> reprint some of this response in my blog, as it is such an important
> question.

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Related posts:

  1. In/Fertile Friends? How to deal, sort of! ~Part One
  2. Sadness Dates
  3. Infertility and the Arrogance of Some Fertile Folks
  4. Reconnecting Through Grief
  5. Fertility Challenges: Holiday Parties with Friends

One Response to “In/Fertile Friends ~ Part 2”

  1. jaroddra Says:

    My best friend and I started to get pregnant in Dec 2003. She got pregnant right away. I never did. I remember always thinking “well our babies will be a month apart, 2 months apart, 5 month apart, etc,. Today is her sons 2nd birthday and I have found so many times in the last 2 days that “my baby would have been walking now, my baby would be having thier first baby. And now today I am thinking that I could have had a child who turns 2 today” It is always with me, and I find that I have withdrawn from my friend in the retrospect which is really sad. But I have a hard time dealing with my infertility!

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