Most women struggle at one time or another with their body image. I do not know why this is, but most women I know either struggle with it now or have in the past, even when they are healthy and beautiful. When you struggle with your fertility, body image issues become an even bigger challenge.

Before I knew that I was infertile, I saw an episode of the TV show Roseanne in which Roseanne's daughter, Darlene, first got her period. She was having a rough time and asked her mother why she had to have periods. Roseanne said, "I will give you three reasons," and then she named all of her children. That is all well and good when your body is able to conceive a child, but what about those of us whose bodies cannot make babies? What is in it for us?

There are times when I can become angry about having to deal with all of the female stuff, knowing that my body never has, and probably never will, make a baby. My ovaries and uterus seem like nothing more than cancer magnets waiting to kill me. And then I will read the statistics about breast cancer and become even more frustrated because my inability to conceive by age thirty upped my odds of developing breast cancer. Lovely. So, what is the big pay-off for decades of PMS and periods? Is there one?

Yes, I can stir myself up into quite a funk on this topic, particularly if I am hormonal. The unfairness of it all can really get to me.

But then I try to focus on the things that my body does right. I am in good physical shape, much more so than many women my age are. I can walk three miles easily without feeling winded. I can touch my toes and do all sorts of funky yoga moves. I do not have asthma, Celiac disease, or other ailments experienced by some of the people in my life. In many ways, I have a really good and healthy body that has served me well throughout my life, even if it cannot make babies.

I try to remember that the ability to make a baby is only one aspect of my body and does not define my body, or me for that matter. Rather than sitting around being bitter about what my body does not do, I try to focus on the things that it does do well.

Now that I am a parent through adoption, I am grateful that I have arms that can hug my child, legs that can keep up with him (most of the time - he really is fast), and a body that enables me to parent him. Maybe my body is not that bad after all.

Related Topics:

• You Might Be Fertility-challenged If ...
• Infertility: Feeling Different
• Infertility and Control Freaks

Photo credit: Faith Allen