One of my struggles as an infertile woman is controlling my temper at the arrogance of some fertile couples. Some people who have never faced fertility challenges fail to appreciate the blessing that being able to conceive a child really is. I just want to smack them when I hear their complaints about things not being completely “perfect” when I would have given anything to be in their shoes.
For example, there are the people who really want a particular gender and spend a lot of time complaining about what they don’t have rather than appreciating what they do have. This is often an issue with people who want a son to carry on the family name, blah, blah, blah. They have a perfectly precious daughter (or daughters), and yet they express their disappointment about not having a son to anyone who will listen. I am not saying that they have no right to feel disappointment or grieve, but it is very frustrating to someone who cannot conceive at all to hear someone whine about their disappointment at having to “settle” for precious little girls.
Then there are the people who want to genetically engineer their child. They want to use science to choose the gender and various traits that will make their child the “perfect” human being. I have never met one of these people in person. Good thing, because I would definitely have to smack them. I did not care about having the smartest or most attractive baby (or whatever other standard these people are looking for). I just wanted a baby to love who would love me back. That’s it.
There are the people who want to plan each child’s birthday. One might want to have birthday parties in the spring. Another might want to miss the cut-off for the school year so their child can be the oldest in the class (or the youngest to save a year’s worth of daycare costs). I just want to scream that I would have been thrilled to have a baby born on Christmas Day if it meant I would have a child to love.
I guess it is all about perspective. Also, some people just like to complain and are never going to be happy, no matter what life brings them.
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Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
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