When I was enduring fertility treatments, one challenge for me was catching up with people who I did not see very often. I told anyone who would listen that hub and I were trying to have a baby (big mistake!), so people who I did not see often had the expectation that I would be pregnant the next time we got together. This set me up for many uncomfortable conversations whenever I caught back up with a friend who I did not see very often.

The conversation would go something like this:

Basic chit chat.

Friend: So, do you have any big news to share?

Me: No, unfortunately.

Friend: Gosh, how long have you been trying? It's been a while, huh?

Me: Yes. A couple of years, actually.

Friend: Wow, I am really sorry to hear that. Are you seeing anyone about it?

Me: Yes, we are seeing a fertility doctor, but so far no luck.

And then we would spend half of our time together talking about fertility procedures. Instead of these get-togethers giving me a way to escape my fertility-obsessed life, they just wound up turning into educational sessions on everything you need to do to get pregnant other than how to succeed.

Of course, the friend would offer up a bunch of fertility myths, everything from drinking Robitussin before sex to going on a cruise. No matter how well I tried to explain our fertility challenges, people always brought it back to learning how to relax. Ugh.

I finally reached a place where I told everyone to quit asking because I would share the good news if there was ever anything good to share. I know that the people in my life just wanted to be supportive, but it took all of the self-restraint I had to hold back when the 14th person told me the exact same thing about learning how to relax.

I don't know why people have such a hard time understanding that infertility is a medical condition. We don't tell cancer patients or diabetics to "just relax" to heal their bodies, so why do people believe that my relaxing will increase my husband's sperm count and remove my endometriosis? People baffle me sometimes.

Photo Credit: Lynda Bernhardt