Infertility definitely puts stress on a marriage. The stress can become even more pronounced when one person is diagnosed as "the reason" that a couple cannot become pregnant. The person who is infertile can struggle with all sorts of insecurities, not the least of which is whether his or her spouse would have chosen the marriage if the infertility issues were known ahead of time.

Rather than viewing infertility as "his" or "her" problem, I strongly advise couples to view infertility as "our" problem. It really does not matter whose body is "causing" the infertility. The infertility is a "couple" problem.

For Those Married to an Infertile Spouse

If your spouse is infertile, reassure him that you love him and that you have no regrets about marrying him. Let him know that you see the infertility as a "couple issue" and that you are going to get through it together. Give him lots of tender loving care, especially in the early weeks of accepting the fact that his body is infertile.

Your spouse might question whether you still desire him in light of his infertility issues, so give him lots of reassurance that you did not marry him for his sperm count or her for her ovaries. Remind him that marriage runs much deeper than making babies. Be patient with your spouse as he comes to terms with this news.

For Those Who are Infertile

If you are the one who is infertile, try not to push your spouse away. You are not doing him any favors by pushing him out of the marriage to free him up to find another spouse with whom to conceive a child. Your spouse is already facing losing the dream of a biological child: Do not force him to lose a beloved spouse, too.

Your spouse did not marry you solely to make babies together. Yes, having a family was likely a part of the dream, but it was not the whole dream. You connected long before you discovered that you were infertile. Remember all the reasons that you fell in love in the first place. Your ability to make babies was not one of those reasons.

Related Topics:

• How to Keep Your Marriage Alive in Spite of Infertility
• Keeping Your Marriage Alive

++++++++++++

For information/instructions on how to subscribe FREE to this blog, please visit this link.