One of the most frequently asked questions by anyone struggling with infertility is "Why me?" The unfairness slaps us in the face repeatedly as we hear stories of women abandoning their babies in dumpsters and parents abusing their children. All we want to do is love a child, and yet Mother Nature repeatedly denies us this experience while allowing other people, even those who do not want children or even abuse their children, to conceive.

Everything inside of ourselves screams at the unfairness of it all, and yet there is nothing that we can do to change this reality. It just plain stinks.

Some people fall into the trap of seeking a "reason" to explain their fertility struggles. I am not talking about a medical diagnosis but a karmic reason for their woes. Some of the "reasons" that I have heard include the following:

• A previous abortion
• Punishment for being promiscuous at a younger age
• God's will that they not become parents

I cannot stress this strongly enough: Infertility is a medical condition. Infertility is not a punishment for choices that you have made in the past, and God is not "divinely sterilizing" you. If God was in the business of divinely sterilizing people, He would start with those who abuse their children, not with loving couples who want nothing more than to shower a child with affection.

It is normal and human to seek out a reason for the things that cause us pain in our lives. We want our lives to be logical: We want to believe that good things happen to good people and that bad things happen to bad people. This belief helps us to fool ourselves into believing that we can control all aspects of our lives. If I am just "good enough," then I will be spared pain. Unfortunately, life is not always like this.

The reality is that infertility is a medical condition. For whatever medical reason, your body is not cooperating in conceiving. It is frustrating, and even devastating, but it is not a karmic event repaying you for wrongs that you have committed in the past.

Related Topics:

• Keeping Your Emotional Footing through Infertility
• Loving My Body in Spite of Infertility