By the time we were referred to an infertility specialist (Dr. M), we had already been trying to conceive for a year. I was feeling very frustrated, but, at the same time, I was hopeful that this specialist would “fix our problem” so that I could finally get pregnant.
I came to this initial meeting alone, which both frustrated and relieved me. I was frustrated because this was our problem and yet I was the only one seeing a doctor about it. However, I was also relieved because this meant that I was in control of what we did or did not do. (Have I mentioned yet that I can be a control freak?)
In the initial meeting, we mostly talked about what had already been screened and what our options were. Of course, I wanted to do an intrauterine insemination (IUI) immediately and get the ball rolling. Dr. M wanted to try a few other things first.
Dr. M asked me if I experienced painful periods to determine whether endometriosis might be a problem. When I said no, he scratched that possible cause off the list. (I will discuss endometriosis in a later post, but I want to tell you now that another doctor found that I had a significant amount of endometriosis and scar tissue even though I did not experience a lot of pain with my periods.)
Before doing any fertility procedures, Dr. M scheduled a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). I will discuss this procedure in the next post.
Dr. M spent a few minutes talking about the emotional side of infertility, and he gave me some pamphlets to read. One of the pamphlets was called Infertility: The Emotional Rollercoaster. Boy did that describe how I felt.
Another pamphlet talked about the conclusion of fertility treatments. The author said that my fertility procedures would end in one of three ways:
- Pregnancy
- Living a childfree life
- Adoption
I was certain that my infertility experience would end in pregnancy. I was determined to become pregnant, and that was just the way it was going to be.
The second choice – living a childfree life – was not an option. I had to become a mother. I was open to the idea of adoption, but I was sure that we would not have to go down that road. I was determined to be a mother by this time next year.
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