We continued the fertility treatments throughout the summer and fall of 1998. The fertility procedures were consuming my life.

I had multiple doctor appointments each month between the follicle tracking, intrauterine inseminations (IUIs), and pregnancy tests. (The progesterone would cause a false positive if I took a home pregnancy test, so if my period was late, I would have a blood test performed at the doctor's office.)

When I wasn't at the doctor's office, I was running to the drug store for Clomid, barbiturates for the migraines, and the progesterone supplements. I finally switched drugs, replacing the generic Clomid with the brand name Serophene. I tolerated that drug better and was able to manage the migraines with Excedrin Migraine rather than needing to take barbiturates.

Our sex life lost all enjoyment as every sexual encounter became about optimal fertility timing. Although my husband's surgery had increased the number of sperm he produced, the morphology was still not great, so the doctor wanted a "fresh, but not too fresh batch" of sperm for each IUI. This meant that we needed to have intercourse between 2-5 days before each IUI.

There were days in which we were feeling romantic but could not make love because it would interfere with our "sperm batch." There were days in which we were both exhausted by work or even in a fight, but we had to make love anyhow to "clean out" the "old" sperm so we would have an optimum batch. It felt like the doctor was living in our bedroom.

That time in my life carried numerous difficulties. Each month, I had the hope that this time would be the time that we conceived. After each IUI, I would examine every nuance of my body, always looking for some indication that I had finally conceived. I have lost count of the number of times that I started to get excited because my period was 3-4 days late, only to become devastated with one trip the bathroom.

My husband started tensing up each time I went to the bathroom because he knew the mood of the evening could change on a dime. We both needed a break badly, so when Christmas rolled around, I took one.

Related Topics:

• How to Keep Your Marriage Alive in Spite of Infertility
• Keeping Your Marriage Alive
• How to Stay Sane While Going Through Infertility
• How Does Frequent Ejaculation Affect Sperm Production?