Goodness knows, I could go on (and on and on and on and on) about the negative aspects of struggling with fertility. In fact, I have done just that in the Challenges category of this blog. But what about the good stuff? Is there anything good about struggling with your fertility? Believe it or not, I have found some good things about being infertile, although I could not see them until after I became a mother through adoption.

The first good thing is actually kind of funny. Hub and I went to a parenting class as we awaited our son's birth. I was the only woman there with a flat tummy, and everyone made a big fuss about having a hopeful adoptive mother join the class. The parenting class was the last of a series of birthing classes, and parenting a newborn was only going to be discussed during the second half of the class. While we waited for that part of the class, hub and I got to hear all about afterbirth. Hub turned twelve shades of green as the entire concept grossed him out. He then turned to me and whispered, "A thousand dollars of the adoption is totally worth it to avoid that!!"

On a much more serious note, having been through so much to become a mother has made me a better mother. I am more patient than many other mothers are, and I appreciate my son on a deeper level than many women do. Most women love their children, but many fail to cherish and enjoy their kids on a regular basis. Because of all I went through to become a mom, I appreciate what a blessing my son is, and I am less likely to take him for granted.

Another positive is the stability of my marriage. Before going through fertility procedures, our marriage had moved along pretty smoothly. Undergoing the stress of fertility procedures really tested our marriage. Now that we are on the other side, we are both confident in the health of our marriage. If it could withstand fertility procedures, then whatever else life has to offer is a breeze in comparison.

My struggles with my fertility have made me much more empathetic to other people. I remember feeling isolated and alone, and I know what words were comforting to me. I now say those words to others who are hurting, whether that pain is caused by fertility challenges or something else.

And, finally, hub and I get a kick out of watching our friends struggle with the "to snip or not to snip" debate as they complete their families. Now that we are satisfied with our one child, we have no need to talk about birth control options: Life took care of that for us.

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Finding Peace category

Photo credit: Rosanne Mooney