Is it possible to have positive thoughts while you are going through fertility treatments? I am the first to admit that I was not very good at it. I seriously doubt that I even tried. I truly believed that I needed a baby to be happy and that my life was going to be miserable until I held my baby in my arms.
I have been through other equally as challenging life circumstances since my infertility years, and I have learned that the thoughts we generate have a lot to do with how good or bad we feel in our current circumstances. Even when we are frustrated with our life circumstances, we can feel better about ourselves as we change our thoughts.
For most of the time I was going through fertility treatments, my thoughts were negative. I was constantly thinking things like I was going to die if I did not get pregnant this month or that I could not be happy until I held my baby in my arms.
However, I have met couples who have been able to stay calmer while facing fertility challenges. (Admittedly, I set a low bar!) They were, of course, upset about their struggles with getting pregnant, but their ability to conceive did not define who they were. For me, everything in my life was colored by my inability to conceived while, for them, their lives, marriages, and other aspects were still enough for them to embrace life even in the midst of their fertility challenges.
How do people manage to stay content even while facing fertility challenges? The secret is in your thoughts. If you are constantly thinking that your life is worthless without a child, then you are going to feel miserable most of the time. However, if you think that your life is great but will be even better once a baby joins it, then you will feel more content even as you struggle to conceive. It is all about the half-empty versus the half-full view of life.
I am not discounting the enormity of the pain of infertility. I have lived it, so I understand how hard it is. However, some people do manage to face infertility without believing that their lives are not worth living until a baby comes along. I believe that positive thoughts are what make the difference.
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Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
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December 4th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
I struggle too. But yesterday, when we found out that once again a heavy dose of repronex produced just one follicle. I decided to stop and think.
One folicle is all it takes.
My husband and I have had hard lives, we have both been through hard times, and whatever happens, we will come out of it.
We have no insurance coverage for all this, and have somehow managed not to get into debt.
I told him last night, how we get through this, how we handle the stress and disappointment, it CAN be something that we are proud of, if we choose to stay positive and keep our eyes on the goal.
Some of staying positive is saying no. I have had to say no to a few toxic friendships, and no to expensive nights out with friends and a few other things. I cannot feel sorry for myself because I have a lot that people around the world do not. That’s not to say I don’t cry or get sad, I just try not to add up all the negatives in my life, and make it like the universe has conspired against me and my happiness. Happiness is my decision. Always.
December 4th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Thank you for your comment. Such wise words. :0)
- Faith