I know many people who say they need to learn how to become more patient. I always tell them not to pray for patience or they are going to wind up waiting a lot. After all, how can a person learn patience unless she is first forced to wait?

I got a crash course in patience as I tried to become pregnant month after month with no success. I never chose this for myself, and I do not recall ever praying for God to teach me patience. However, patience is something that I was forced to learn. It took me a long time to learn the lesson.

I am not saying that God inflicted me with infertility so that I could learn patience. Instead, I am saying that it was through this painful time in my life that I learned it. It is nice to be able to identify good things that I can take away from bad experiences.

I used to believe that I needed everything now. We live in a microwave society in which people are not used to having to wait for anything. I actually heard a man complain about how many seconds his work elevator delayed him each time he used it. The elevator was set up to run more slowly because of having several elderly employees in the building, but all this man focused upon was the fact that he lost a few extra seconds each time he used this elevator.

By learning patience, I have learned to slow down my life and enjoy what is around me. Instead of getting angry in traffic, I try noticing how beautiful the sky is. Instead of becoming angry over a slow elevator, I will enjoy the extra seconds of rest between tasks or, better yet, take the stairs and exercise my body.

Developing patience is especially important as you work toward becoming a parent because nothing tests your patience more than your own children. No matter how much you love your children, they will push your buttons just for the sake of pushing them. When your friends are losing their patience with their children, you will likely stay much calmer because of the patience that you are being forced to develop now.

The key to patience is looking for the good around you even as you are forced to wait. The other piece is learning to trust that everything is going to work out for the best, even when it is not inside your timetable. If you can take this away from your infertility struggles, then you will be blessed with more than just a child on the other side of this life experience.

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Photo Credit: Lynda Bernhardt