When dealing with infertility the two people you want to be up front and honest with are your spouse and your doctor. Besides your religious faith, there is nothing that can help you get pregnant. Now let me confess another no-no, I lied to my doctor when we started our infertility process.
It seems obvious, but I’m going to say this- do not lie to your doctor. Swallow your pride, check your shame at the door, and open up. I was scared to tell the doctor the truth. I know that a doctor is a medical professional who has dedicated their life to helping others, but I was afraid he’d judge me. It’s stupid but I was afraid he’d go home and tell his wife about this lady in his office who had an interesting (for lack of a better word) past and was in his office complaining about not being able to have children. One day when I’m ready I’ll post about that in more detail, but today is not that day sorry.
Honestly who cares if he did tell his wife? I didn’t know what she looks like, she’s older than me so I doubt we’d have mutual friends, and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t gossip around town about some patient of her husband. With all of this in my mind I still choice to hide the truth. I wasn’t at a place emotionally to speak about my past in that amount of detail. Then I started thinking that if I wasn’t ready to talk about my past maybe I wasn’t ready to move forward. If I couldn’t tell my doctor about my past was I really making a solid commitment to starting my family? Would that piece of information be the missing piece to the puzzle of my infertility?
I dealt with infertility for a few months with a huge pit in the bottom of my stomach. I felt like my pride was the reason I wasn’t getting pregnant. Whether it was the actual medical history or just some punishment from God I felt I deserved, I felt like I needed to come clean with my doctor. I decided rather than just blurt it out and look stupid for lying I was going to make hints at the topic and just ask general questions about it.
At the doctor appointment I couldn’t look my doctor in the face I just looked at the floor. I started asking him my questions and I felt like a thirteen year old trying to talk to the hunky older boy. I’m pretty sure my doctor put two and two together, but he never admitted it to me. He explained that certain factors can have an impact on infertility but it isn’t definite. I thanked him for clarification and quickly left. I felt slightly better about everything but knew it would still take time for me to heal.
Looking back I feel silly. I should have sat down in the beginning and told him everything about my past. Even if it is unclear whether or not my specific history played a part in my infertility I should have been honest with the doctor. Please don’t fall into the same trap I did. Share as much as you can with your doctor because you’ll never know what might help him/her diagnose and treat you.
If nothing else, you don’t need an added worry and guilt on your brain when you’re already dealing with so much.
Photo credit- http://www.sxc.hu/photo/658925