One of my friends was in to the spa today and we got to talking about listening. Listening as an active, focused, directed activity. Not just waiting for the pause where you can jump in and say what you want to. But really listening to what the other person has to say.

As we talked all over the subject, I started thinking about careers in listening. Life coaches, massage therapists, nail artists, counselors, doctors, clergy are just a few that I can name off of the top of my head. Some of the things that I hear in my treatment room make me cry, make me laugh and make me grateful. I get to treat the full spectrum of life as a person experiences it. Prom, graduation, engagements, weddings, pregnancies, births, retirements.

But for a lot of sessions, I listen to loss. Divorce, miscarriage, unemployment, illness and death. General daily disappointments. I love just being there, taking it all in as they release their stories to me.

While I grieved my miscarriages there were times that I felt that people did not want to listen. Because they were uncomfortable, because they didn't know what to say, or they were just plain scared to hear. But I talked. To anyone and everyone who would be in the same room as me. But, many times, I felt that I wasn't listened to.

When I went to my first support group meeting, the facilitator and I were the only ones there. And that was fine by me because she is a friend of mine. I didn't realize that this was part of her duties at the hospital, but was so relieved to see a familiar face.

When I told my story in the quiet front room with the big windows and the traffic going by I was listened to. Actively, compassionately and tenderly. In that space I finally felt that my message had landed with someone. Had made contact with a target audience.

After that moment of sharing I came home and slept like the dead. The relief that I had was huge. Now, when I hear of someone going through a tough time and if I feel capable, I offer to listen. That's it. But I give it my all. If I don't feel up to it, I'll recommend someone else or offer to listen at another time. But I make it clear that their story needs to be listened to. It was one of the most healing things that have happened to me.