My husband used to have a low sperm count until he had a varicocele removed. The surgery corrected the problem, and he is now fertile. Unfortunately, since he is still married to an infertile woman, his fertility is not doing him much good. Such is life.
When my husband found out his sperm count was low, he took the news hard. My husband is a tall, muscular man and is “macho” in temperament. If you put him in a line-up, you truly would not guess that he was the one with the low sperm count. Unfortunately, many men connect their sperm production with their manhood, so finding out there is a problem can really rock a man.
It baffled my husband that scrawny or nerdy men could produce multiple offspring while my husband, who works out in a gym daily, could not “get his own wife pregnant.” His urologist told him that his workouts could actually be contributing to the problem. See Exercise Addiction and Male Fertility for more on this topic. Sperm production really does not have anything to do with manhood.
Fortunately, my husband’s coworker and friend, who is a normal-looking man, had the same problem, so at least my husband had somebody to talk to about his frustrations. He was not looking for emotional support in the same way that I was, but it did help to know another man who was facing the same issues. This friend has a great sense of humor, which did wonders to lift my husband’s spirits.
The television show Coach had a storyline about this very topic. Hayden and Christine were unable to conceive, and they found out that Hayden had a low sperm count. Hayden, a college football coach, was as macho as a man comes, so you can imagine his reaction to finding out this information. Christine encouraged him to go on television to talk about how infertility affects many men, telling him there would be other men just like him on the program. The episode ended with one scrawny and/or goofy looking man after another saying, “I’m [name], and I have a low sperm count” and then Hayden lying about his name.
That episode captures the fear that men have about their fertility being tied into their manhood. The episode ended the way it did because it was comical, but the truth is that there is no correlation between masculinity and sperm production. Infertility is a medical condition and does not make anyone less of a man.
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