I mentioned in a previous post, the enjoyment and comfort that I got out of Prayers for the Mother To Be by Angela Thomas while pregnant with Ivy. Along with the miscarriage fears, there was a prayer to help with anxiety, which I have even in the best situations. Pregnancy just amplified it all and then some. It also calls upon my favorite bible passage, Cast all your anxiety on him, for he cares for you.1 Peter 5:7

OH FATHER,

How does a strong and confident woman unexpectedly become so fragile and broken? I feel as if I have shattered into a thousand pieces. My emotions have taken over and my mind can't regain control. The tears that began as a drizzle have become a torrent that I can't restrain. I am long past knowing why I began to cry. There is no reason and there is every reason. Nothing is wrong and everything is wrong.

I feel so incredibly alone. I want someone to help me, but I don't know how to ask. Irrational sobbing isn't something you can just spring on anyone. There is no one to call. Others seem to need a rational explanation for tears, but tears like these defy logic and reason. I need someone to hold me, listen without assessment and forget all of my rambling by tomorrow.

Trying to pull it all in and be tought isn't working. I've never been very good at that bootstrap thing anyway. Oh, Father, give me comfort. Your Spirit can console me when no one else is able. Fill this room with peace and acceptance. Hold me tight in Your arms and love all of my tears away. I will pray until you come.

Amen

I felt that first question of the prayer so frequently, how did I become so vulnerable, in such a short period of time. I sure wasn't as strong as I had thought myself to be. But the other part of the prayer that I absolutely love is, "Fill this room with peace and acceptance." I'm going to print that out for my desk.