Miscarriage Coping Guide for Men

Another item that made me feel very comfortable in referring this site to the readers was this:

Take the opportunity during this tragic event to invest extra energy into your relationship-spend quality time together, grieving the loss of your baby, as well as allowing yourselves time and space to grow and change as you experience pregnancy loss and as you recommence your journey towards pregnancy together.

I know that in our situation, I reached out a lot more than Chris did. I reached out to him, and to my friends, and to my family, and to others online who had been in similar situations. Even though I just read what the internet had to offer, I felt that I immersed myself in the learning and recovery of the miscarriage.

I felt at the time that Chris didn't even acknowledge that the miscarriage had happened apart from the first few days that we were waiting for results and finding out that the pregnancy wasn't viable. But by the time he went back to work, his old life was back into full swing, but without me. Work was the same. His friends and family were the same. He had the normalcy, while I dealt with the nightmare.

The advice of the above article was right on for what I wanted and needed. I wanted, craved and needed attention from him. Recognition of what had happened and how it had changed maybe not his life, but mine in an enormous way.

There are times that I wonder if he thinks about the miscarriages at all. He would probably say, "No way. I'm too busy with two kids." And he would think that he was funny. But I really wonder if he does ever let himself go back to that time. And although I know that I am very busy with two kids as well, I think about OUR loss a lot.