During my pregnancy with Ivy, my fear of miscarriage was huge. I went to our local bookstore and found the book, Prayers for the Mother To Be by Angela Thomas. I had nothing to read during this time because I was terrified of the “What to Expect” book that I had relied on heavily while trying to get pregnant. I wanted to really stay away from any thing negative in all forms of media. This book seemed to fit the bill. While at a coffeeshop one day, a woman came up to me and told me that she had loved the book while she was pregnant as well
I took this book with me everywhere while I was still pregnant. The prayer that I read over and over is titled, “Miscarriage Fear” and it gave me great comfort. Here are some of the passages that made me feel so much better.
Lord of my hope,
We are expecting again and I am so grateful, yet I come to You because my heart hesitates. My emotions have become worn and frayed. The mountain-top joy of knowing I’m pregnant has twice been shattered by the sadness of miscarriage. And now, to be pregnant a third time, well, I’m elated, but reluctant to celebrate. One minute I’m dreaming about our child, and the next minute, I’m swallowed up by fear.Now we wait for the days to pass and for the doctor to proclaim that our baby’s okay. These days are hard, even agonizing at times. I feel like I”ve been on a spiritual roller-coaster. Some days I can wait patiently and other days, I’m restless and anxious. I walk in confidence for awhile and then I crumble under the weight of our past disappointments. I must continuously surrender my worries and fall into Your mercy. Show me what it means to abide in You.
I almost had these first paragraphs memorized by the time I was able to somewhat let go of my fear. Even as I was typing them out today, they were familiar and comforting.
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