SELF-CARE MINDER
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Practically Perfect

Sometimes doing something practical is just what we need -- especially with sick dads and books that refuse to make sense. The bigger issues in life can take up all our our energy and then everything else gets really messy -- the layers of dried mud and gum wrappers in the car, the pile of scarves and camisoles on the closet floor I dumped there two weeks ago, the black circles on the bathroom wall from Lilly kicking her soccer ball while on the toilet.

Whenever I either am close to finishing a big project or stressed about something I can't do anything about, one of the ways I direct my energy that feels nourishing (rather than an avoidance of feeling or a shadow comfort) is to revel in the beauty in everyday things by focusing on the meditative aspects of organizing and cleaning. I like to pick one or two things about my daily life which are not working – the underwear drawer that won't easily close or the lack of a regular place to store the dog leash and poop bags or the swamp of old cleaning supplies under the sink. Research tells us that little things working well can actually bring more happiness than having millions in the bank -- after our basic needs are met, of course. You might sew on lost buttons, throw away old make-up, or take down beloved books and wipe them with a damp cloth. Or you might dig out a cookbook and follow a recipe you've never used or even write a sincere "I'm thinking of you" note and mail it (
I adore getting real mail!). I also find it deeply satisfying to share what I no longer need or use -- books, clothes, even furniture.

Take a quick inventory of what you've been meaning to get around to and commit to three small projects with gusto. Do it with a friend if you hate to do it alone or listen to a book -- Audible.com and my I-pod make walking the dog, doing the dishes, and cleaning the studio very enjoyable. Reward yourself afterwards by throwing a lemonade tea party with fun hats and chocolate cream pie or take a picnic to an unexplored place or take a nap in your organized living room. It's so rejuvenating to maintain, appreciate, and savor your world -- it gives me new appreciation and a sense of foundation for my life, and makes it easier to rest after a project. I think of this cleaning and organizing time as a mindful transition into the lull or restfulness I always feel after finishing a big project.

And if you are someone who has trouble resting, make a pro and con list of the benefits of resting in a hammock, on a blanket on the grass, or in a chaise by the pool. Make a little experiment of noticing what happens when you give yourself a true weekend off without shoehorning in any bill paying, errand running, or obligatory social events. Do you feel different on Monday or whenever your weekend ends? Do you have more energy, more ideas, more inner freedom?

See? She's great, isn't she! - Karianne